Please Be There (An Anorexic Girl Story)

Please Be There Ch. 7

Chapter Seven

Brenda

As Nana Brooks screamed, I slowly backed away. "It's alright, Ma," Mrs. Rose whispered. "That's not Melanie. That's Brenda." Nana Brooks' eyes widened.

"Brenda," She whispered.

"Yes, Brenda," Mrs. Rose nodded, "So why doesn't Brenda come sit down, and talk with us."

"I'll give you women a moment," Collin muttered, and then walked out of the room, closing it behind him. I bit my lip, and sat down in a comfy chair next to Mrs. Rose.

"Hi Nana Brooks," I repeated.

"Who are you?" Nana Brooks asked.

"Brenda," I sighed.

"I thought you were Melanie," She admitted.

I bit on the side of my lip, and fiddled with my fingers on my lap. "Nana Brooks," I murmured, "Whose Melanie?"

Nana Brooks looked at Mrs. Rose. "Colleen," She begged.

"Melanie was my older sister," Mrs. Rose explained. "I told you the story of how anorexia affected my sister, and now you're going to have the point of view on my family. Go ahead Mama, tell Brenda about Melanie, Mama." Nana Brooks shook slightly, and Mrs. Rose held her hand tighter. "It's alright," Mrs. Rose told her.

"When Melanie was fifteen," Nana Brooks whispered, "Around your age, all the girls were thin. She wanted to be too. She watched the model shows where the girls were size zeros. Melanie wanted to be like that."

I crossed my arms over my stomach, feeling uncomfortable. "Melanie reached that size," Nana Brooks continued, "But it wasn't enough. Melanie wanted to beat them all. She wanted to prove to them that she could set a goal in life, and beat them all."

Nana Brooks started to weep. Mrs. Rose gently put her hand on Nana Brooks' cheek, and Nana Brooks calmed down a little bit. "It's alright," Mrs. Rose soothed.

"I wasn't paying attention," Nana Brooks wept, "I should have noticed, but she didn't want anything to do with me when I asked her about it. So in order to stay on her good side, I just didn't ask. But when Melanie was on her death bed, she told me it was my fault. It was all my fault."

"I'm sure it wasn't," I told her.

"Then after she told me that," Nana Brooks continued, "I found everyone I could to help her. I paid them anything they wanted. Anything, just to fix my baby girl. The damage had gone too far though, and it was too late for my baby. After hearing this, Melanie just cried, and begged me to let her die. She didn't want to live here anymore, so she begged for death. And it was given to her."

Nana Brooks had tears sliding down her wrinkled cheeks. "It's alright Mama," Mrs. Rose whispered, "its okay."

"No it's not," Nana Brooks growled, ripping her hand away from Mrs. Rose. "Don't you understand that this is all my fault. I had to live with that the rest of my life. Do you understand the guilt that was placed on me? Do you Colleen?"

"Yes I do," Mrs. Rose whispered, standing up, "Because I didn't do anything about it either. It was my fault too."

"She didn't tell you it was your fault," Nana Brooks snapped.

"She told me every night," Mrs. Rose spat. "Every night that she stayed in this hospital and I would stay here with her. She would say that it was my fault she was in there. My fault I didn't help her sooner."

"Oh Colleen," Nana Brooks chuckled, "You were probably dreaming with childhood fear. She didn't look you in the eye and say it did she?"

Mrs. Rose fiddled with her fingers in her lap. "I think," I said loudly, "I think that it was Melanie's fault."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Rose asked.

"Yes, why do you speak lies child?" Nana Brooks growled.

"Mama, hush," Mrs. Rose commanded, "What do you mean Brenda?"

"I mean," I whispered, "I mean that Melanie should have figured out sooner that something was wrong, and solved it by herself. Anorexia is something you have to deal with on your own, and without the help of others. It was Melanie's fault."

Mrs. Rose sighed, and nodded. "Mama, I think we're going to go," She murmured, "It's seems that Brenda hasn't learned anything from this visit."

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

"Don't fret," Mrs. Rose said, wearing a tight smile, "It was just a test. See you later Mama."

"You'll be back?" Nana Brooks begged.

"Of course," Mrs. Rose smiled.

"And next time you come back, I want grand kiddies running around my room," She ordered.

"Alright," Mrs. Rose chuckled. She put her hand on my shoulder, and then led me out of the room. "Love you Ma," Mrs. Rose called, and then closed the door behind her. "She doesn't realize that she won't live to see grandkids," Mrs. Rose sighed.

"She's dying?" I asked.

"Yeah," Mrs. Rose nodded, "That's why I brought you to visit her today."

"I'm sorry I didn't agree with you," I murmured, "About Melanie telling someone she was sick."

"It's alright," Mrs. Rose shrugged. "Everyone's different."

Mrs. Rose stopped in front of Mr. Rose out in the hallway. "I'm going to take Brenda home," She whispered, "I'll see you at home."

"Alright," He nodded, "I'm going to see your Mom for a minute. Be safe." He kissed her head gently, and then slid into Nana Brooks' room.

"Come on," Mrs. Rose called, walking quickly to the door. I looked around, and realized she was talking to me. I walked behind her quickly, and then started running behind her. My stomach was growling, no it was aching. I hadn't eaten anything all day. I wanted too, but I just couldn't.

"Come on Brenda," Mrs. Rose yelled from her car, "We have a lot to talk about." She got into her car, and then slammed the door behind her.

I opened the passenger door. I slid in, and buckled myself up. Mrs. Rose started driving right away, like she was in some kind of rush. There silence between us for awhile. I didn't know what to say to her. So finally I just awkwardly said, "I'm sorry about your Mom, Mrs. Rose."

"It's her time," Mrs. Rose nodded. "But now we need to talk."