Love on Air

Chapter XXVII: Standing Up

QUOTE SLIDESHOW ON THE SIDE (SLIDES EVERY TEN SECONDS)

Chapter XXVII: Standing Up

~ ALEX ~

     The scissors is almost there, right there at the end of the rope. Only an inch more to make it to the finish line, an inch more to cut the rope of endless opportunities. I want to count. I want to count those wonderful days that I had with them, with Jake. And if I could, I will crawl back to those times when things were just the way it used to be. Me being just Alex and Jake being that considerate friend who is always by my side. 

     But everything has changed and I can't go back to that moment when friendships were just formed, when fate is just a wishful thinking of unexpected choices, and when love - oh, love. Love was just a troubled beat of your heart and leap in your tummy. Love was just like that. Was. 

     I don't know what to think anymore of that four-letter-word that used to be at the top of my dictionary. Now, love is just a word for idiots who never seem to stop themselves from falling, even when pain is beginning to rip their hearts apart. They say love hurts. And I agree.

     And I'm starting to be that weak person who doesn't fight for the guy she wants and she desperately needs. I tell myself for almost every minute, goddamn it, Alex, you are so weak can't you stand up for him, can't you fight for what you want? And I'd be all so frantic that Cassy told me I might be losing my mind. She frequently catches me staring at a distance and breathing heavily. 

     "Alex!" she'd snap, and I was clicked out of my thoughts. 

     We were in the lobby, Hannah, Paul, and Joshua included. Josh - the last person who I thought would be here. But, Cassy's coming along, so why not him? All of a sudden, I felt so lonely and isolated. I felt only half of what I am. There were Hannah and Paul, and Cassy and Joshua. And me? Well, I'm still Alex. 

     But just Alex. 

     "You're going to be late for The Afternoon Breaks." Joshua looked serious. I was starting to doubt the Joshua I used to know, the Joshua I remember who'd always try to be funny. "I don't wanna miss Lexa's last show." he gave me a knowing smirk and that's when I know he's back.

     "I'm just going to say farewell to one last person."

     And no, that person is not Jake.

     I walked away from them and felt that they're all exchanging looks to one another and I never even have to look back to make sure they are. I ran to the breakfast lounge and my eyes landed on a blonde little girl right away. She was sitting across from Mr. Smith, sipping on a hot cocoa and I easily see the tiny marshmallows floating atop. "Hey."

     Angelie turned around and wrapped her small arms around my waist as soon as she saw me. Her hug was tight, insightful. She glanced at the scarf that was covering my neck, the Ray-Ban that was hiding my eyes, the beanie that was holding all of my hair - which is, by the way, Hannah's stupid idea because I know it will all fall down sooner or later - and the duffel bag hanging carelessly on my shoulder. 

     Of course, she's smart. She must have figured it all out. 

     "Are you leaving?"

     Yup, she's as smart as I remembered her to be.

     I knelt down before her, holding her puny hands to mine and meeting her delicate, now watery eyes. I sighed, "Yes, Ange. I'm leaving. I'm going to New York."

     "Why? Is it better there?" I can feel her fingers trembling as she tighten her grip around my hold. Oh, little Ange. I wish she knows why.

     "No."