Chapter One

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Another one bites the fucking dust. Millie's gone but in a way, Finn is too. I miss both of them. Losing two best friends in just a week is tough. Thank god Caleb is still here or I would've offed myself a long time ago. Maybe it's better this way. With Millie gone, so is the tension between Sadie and Finn. I still don't know how she managed to attract them both. But love is weird. I, Gaten Matarazzo, know that.

"Gaten, you okay?" Finn asked me and I stopped staring into the distance. I smiled up at him. "I'm okay, Finn, really." He shrugged and ran back to an annoyed Sadie. So basically Sadie in her natural state. I'm not even kidding. "Gaten, come help me with the van, I need someone with experience!" Caleb called from under the vehicle. "Coming!" I yelled back, hearing the innuendo a second too late. Caleb laughed and I hit him when I reached the van. "Did you have to laugh?"
"Did you have to yell that?"
"No."
"There's your-oh. That's not what you were supposed to say."
I snorted and hit him in the chest. "Whatever McLaughlin, just tell me what to do."
"Admit it was funny."
"Never said it wasn't."
Caleb rolled his eyes and started explaining what had to happen. We managed to fix it in two hours of working in the burning sun, both of us shirtless and covered in the water we'd splashed on ourselves to stay cool. Not to mention the fact that we were both covered in oil, gas, and other substances from the van. But hey, we managed to get it done. "I'm claiming the first shower." I declared, closing the hood. Caleb snorted. "Keep up, then."
"You know I have nerve damage, you wouldn't be so mean as to - and you're already gone." I looked at my best friend running to the house, knowing I'd never be able to win. "Asshole." I muttered under my breath, walking back to the house with my usual light limp. Fucking guns, man, they hurt like a motherfucker and give you permanent damage, if not death.

"Caleb I'm gonna actually murder you." I yelled, walking into the house, before seeing him standing in the living room, talking to Noah. "You can have the first shower, Gaten." He said, smiling at me. "Thanks, man." I grabbed some clothes from our bedroom and locked the bathroom door behind me, taking a shower in record time as I felt bad for leaving my best friend covered in grease and in dirty clothes.

I showered in less than ten minutes and was out of the bathroom and in the living room in fifteen. "She's all yours."
"Stop gendering random objects, please."
"It's a sayi- nevermind." I sat down on the couch next to a sleeping Finn and a, still annoyed, Sadie. "Sads, what's wrong?" I asked, ignoring the black-haired guy that was resting his head on my shoulder. "Nothing."
"Sads."
"Leave it."
"Sads."
"It's nothing."
"Sads."
"I know it's weird and fucked up and all that shit", I silently thanked god Caleb wasn't there or he would've been telling her to stop cussing, "but I actually kinda miss her." I raised an eyebrow at her. "Millie?"
"Yeah, but I don't want to miss her. She killed someone who was very dear to me. I did the same to her, we're even now." I looked around to see that it was just us and Finn. "Listen, Sadie, love is weird and it sucks sometimes. Sometimes you fall in love with people that you shouldn't like. And sometimes the person you love does something horrible but you want to forgive them. In case of that second thing, you have to make sure you have people with you that will stop you."
"Will you stop me if I ever see her again?"
"Yes, always, I promise." She smiled at the two references. "Promise."
We sat in silence for a few minutes, the smell of someone cooking filling the room. "Gaten?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
"You just did."
"Can I ask you two more questions?"
"You just cheated the system."
"I've known you for years, I know your jokes."
"Fair point, what did you want to ask?"
"Do you like anyone?" I was taken aback by the question. "What are we, six year old girls?"
"Yes, now answer me."
I thought for a few minutes. I'd been having feelings for someone. But it would never work out, I knew that. I shook my head, denying everything. "You really are a six year old girl." A voice spoke up from the doorway. "Denying crushes, are you?" Caleb asked, laughing, before pushing me to the side and sitting down as well. "Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Okay, guys, stop. Seriously, this is why I'm a lesbian."
Caleb and I both laughed loudly, waking Finn up. "Mills!" He yelled, shooting up. "Whoa, dude, calm down." I helped him slow his breathing and slowly felt his heart slow to a normal pace, all the lightness in the room fading with his sleep.

"I'm gonna go...help Noah." Sadie said, obviously distraught as she walked to the kitchen while messing with her hair. Caleb had sat down next to Finn and was now hugging him from the side. I was about to make a joke to lighten the mood when Noah yelled that food was ready. I jumped up just as Caleb yelled "food" loudly. I laughed and hit him. "Stop hitting me."
"Well would you rather I hit on you?"
"No."
"Exactly, no one wants tha- Sadie put your hand down."
"What? I'd be okay if you started hitting on Caleb."
"That would be incest." I said, pointing a knife at her. "Whatever you say, Matarazzo." She replied, digging into her salad before Noah slapped her hand away to try and teach her some manners. "Stop spoiling my fun." She complained as I laughed. "Anyways, what's our next mission gonna be?" I asked, taking a bite of my potatoes. "Well we've been tracking Colonel Johnson for a while now and we know where he's gonna be next weekend so I guess that would be a good idea." Caleb answered, looking to the others for confirmation. Sadie nodded and we ate in silence.

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