The Alexandra Diaries

Zen

Hey guys so I've decided to add a couple more chapters to this story. I feel like I left a lot of things unanswered, so I will get those things answered for you guys :)

Alexandra

Have you ever noticed how during a shower the mirrors became foggy from steam? Have you noticed that when you wipe the fog off of the mirror, the mirror just becomes foggy again?

That explains my life right now. My life is filling up with problems right now, and every time I manage to fix one problem, another one appears. And like a track on repeat, there's no end.

The problems suck at my energy like leaches, and I try to ignore them and keep them to myself, but they always end with someone stuck in the crossfire. Whether it's me or one of my friends, someone is going to get hurt.

And I just stand there and watch painfully, itching for an end to life's reign of terror. But I don't think it's going to end for me. I think it's just begun.

And say I'm overreacting or call me a pessimist, but everything that happens in my life is either bad, or turns into something bad.

Like Dylan, he's dragged me through hell and back at least ten times. And Ryan, he didn't do anything wrong and yet he still hurt me.

It just doesn't seem like I'm supposed to be happy, but I'm still going to try.

Staring out of the window in Ryan's office, I feel a tear roll down my cheek. Both my wolf and I were hurting, and though I promised to be grateful for being alive, I felt broken. I felt unwanted and passed around, I felt like second choice. And that hit me where it counted.

"Alex," Someone called. I frantically wiped away the tear and turned to see who called my name. It was Sean. Ever since the accident he had been visiting me a lot more, everyone had. Except for two people, and those two people were Ryan and Dylan. That's just because I was avoiding them like the plague, even Ashton had visited me.

Sean came up and stood next to me, and I turned back to the window. I didn't want him to see my tear stained face, even though he'd already seen it countless times already.

"How are you?" The question felt weird to me, I had no idea how to answer. I felt like people wanted you to answer with "I'm fine" just so they didn't have to pretend to listen. So I decided to spare Sean another sob story.

"I'm good," I lied. But there was no point in lying to Sean, and I knew that when he rolled his eyes.

"Don't try and fool me with that bullshit, you aren't good. You haven't been good since I met you, so why would you be good now?" I felt my lips turn into a frown at his response, he was right about everything. And I couldn't fool Sean.

"You're right, I feel like shit. My life sucks and I've officially lost every reason to live." Once again Sean rolled his eyes. "Was that the answer you were expecting?" I asked, shooting him a small glare.

"Actually yeah, because all you ever do is mope around," He said. "Once again, get the fuck over it. I'm getting tired of playing therapist with you."

I held my hand to my heart, faking hurt. "I thought you enjoyed listening to my never ending sob stories," I replied sarcastically. I saw Sean laugh a bit, before looking back at me.

"That's the first sarcastic remark I've heard from you in like a week, keep it up buttercup." I scrunched my face up at the name he used. "Hey, if you're going to move in with me you've gotta get used to the names." He had said it so casually that it threw me off guard.

I had forgotten that I was moving in with him.

"Did you even pack?" He gave me an unamused face. I look down in embarrassment, I couldn't believe that I was moving in with Sean tomorrow.