The Alexandra Diaries

Mistakes

I'm coming down to the last two chapters of this story!! EEEKKK. PLEASE VOTE❤️❤️
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Alexandra

I sit on the window seat in the room that has now become my home. I know soon I have to move out, I can't live with Ryan and Izzy forever. I know they enjoy my company, and I enjoy theirs, but they need their space and I need mine.

I could just move back into Lydia's old house, now that she's gone. But that house holds too many bad memories. I reminisce in the bad memories, and my eyes widen. Today marks a year since Max died.

I should go see his grave today, but he's buried on Dylan's land. I'd need permission to go there. But from who?

Definitely not Dylan. But Tyler, we've stayed friends. He'd let me see Max. I grab my phone and dial in Tyler's number. Ring ring ring-

"Alex?" Tyler asks.

"Hi Tyler," I say.

"What's up?" He asks. For a couple seconds I go silent, the words not leaving my mouth.

"Can I visit..." I trail off, taking a deep breath in. "Max?" I whisper.

The line goes silent for a few.

"Please," I plead.

"Of course. I'll tell Dylan-" I cut him off.

"Don't. I need to be alone there. Just for a few."

"Fine," He says.

"Thank you, Tyler." I whisper, before hanging up.

I grab my coat, and head downstairs. "Where ya going?" Izzy asks, looking up from her magazine.

"To see Max." I mumble, before walking out the door.

The walk to Max's grave takes a little over a half an hour, but I finally get there. My heart pounds through my chest as I see Max's grave. I walk over and set the flowers down, and sit down in front of his grave.

"Oh Max." I whisper, tears forming in my eyes. "I miss you."  I run my hand over the cold marble that makes up Max's grave. It's cold. It's as cold as the air around me. The air that Max is in.

"This is because of me." I whisper, tears falling to the ground, turning to ice. I sniffle. "God I'm so stupid," I cry.

The wind blows, causing the snow to blow all over.

"If it wasn't for me, Max." I sob, hugging his grave. "You would be here. You would still be growing and laughing and being there for me." I let out a loud, inhuman sobbing sound.

The wind seems to blow even more, and I lift my head up. Maybe he's here.

"Max if you're here, I just want to say I'm so so sorry," I say. "It should've been me, not you. I deserved to die." I drop my head back down onto the grave.

Tears escape from my eyes, but I don't bother to stop them. Max is gone because of me. I killed a little boy. If I hadn't of left my pack, if I had just taken the death penalty like I was supposed, none of this would have happened.

Everyone and everything would be okay. But it isn't. Max is dead and so many more are dead because of me. So many innocent lives have been lost because of me.

My mom, my dad, Max, my brother, those guards; they were just following orders, Charles, Charlotte, and probably many more.