AN: ayyye look who finally did something. Woo! Based on the song These are the Lies by The Cab requested by Fetus_OBetus! Also guys guess who's starting spooky week Tuesday? ME AGAIN! So look forward to that and all those who have requests, I will still get them done I promise :)
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Enjoy! - - - I don't love you, I don't need you. I don't ever want to see you again. 'cause boy, I moved on and things are perfect. I'm okay with us just being friends.
Stiles grimaces when Scott mentions Derek's name.
The break up was nasty, a lot of screaming and crying. Stiles left their shared apartment with all his stuff and slammed the door behind him.
He doesn't need him, he's perfect without him. He's fine.
At least, that's what he tells himself when he sees him on the street. He waves and smiles but there's something missing. An ache starting in the middle of his chest, spreading until all he can think about is how much he misses him.
But he's okay. He doesn't even need to see him.
'Cause I don't think about you every single night; I'll be fine without you. Can sleep tight when I'm not beside you; I'm moving on.
Derek lies in bed, staring up at the ceiling.
"It shouldn't be this hard to sleep," Derek mutters, flipping onto his side and adjusting his pillow. "I'm over it. Why does it still haunt me?"
The alarm clock besides his bed blinks 4:13 a.m. and it doesn't seem like he'll be getting any sleep.
The fight flashes through his mind, him saying awful things to Stiles and he doesn't even know why. The fight was so pointless, why did it escalate so quickly? Maybe Derek pushed too hard, maybe it was because there was a lot of stress going on with the pack.
Either way, it was his fault and there was no going back. Stiles had slammed that door on his way out.
No, I don't cry about you; never seen tears in my eyes about you. Gonna be fine if I die without you; Baby, I'm gone.
He told himself this wasn't going to happen, not tonight. After everything, just not tonight but that didn't stop the tears from flowing down his face and staining his pillow for the fourth night in a row.
I don't need him, Stiles says to himself, stop thinking about him! He pushed you out, he made that fight happen, you don't need to cry.
No matter what he told himself, the tears continued to flow and he sobbed harder when he realized that he's going to die without him. He tried to reassure himself that he was going to be fine but even his mind didn't believe that.
It was torture, bringing these thoughts up every night. Sure, they were still friends but Stiles, if he was honest with himself, did not want to be friends. He missed his boyfriend and wanted him back but there was one problem.
Was there even a going back?
These are the lies that I tell myself at night. These are the lies that are keeping me alive.
Lie after lie. That's all it ever was after that night. The truth hid behind covers and in boxes, constantly being shoved into nooks and crannies of the mind. Both of them trying to protect themselves from the truth.
Even if the lies were eating them both alive, slowly tearing at that thin wall that wrapped around the mountains of truth. It was like a disease, only showing damage after years of hiding. It prolonged the hurt and made it like they could never forget. You can't forget something that's tearing up everything you've ever had or known.
There was no going back to what they had and yet...
This was another lie but neither of them realized it yet.
I've got a new girl and she's my whole world, And I don't care if you're not sleeping alone. 'Cause life is so good; I'm doing so good. Don't spend hours sitting here by the phone.
Derek tried to move on after three weeks, tried finding someone else who made him feel the same way Stiles did but there was no one who could fill that missing gap in his life. Eventually he gave up after staring out the window for over half the date, everything his date was saying going in one ear and out the other.
Nothing she said had interested him and he tried to pay attention but it just wasn't the same. So he gave up and decided dating just wasn't an option right now.
He stopped telling himself lies and started digging out the truth. He started constantly checking his phone, thinking that he heard it vibrate but there was never any calls or texts from Stiles. There was some from the other pack members, but no Stiles.
'Cause the truth is, I'm about to lose it. Don't think I can do this if I'm not with you.
Stiles has had it. He can't stand being a mope any longer and making himself go insane by all his dumb thoughts about being fine.
"There is no point in lying to myself," Stiles says to Scott after the waiter delivers their food. Scott looks at him and raises an eyebrow.
"Glad you finally noticed," Scott says before he takes a bite of his spaghetti. "You've been so...not yourself. Too many fake smiles and too many brush-offs. I know you like the back of my hand and yet there you were, lying to me about how you felt. Not cool man."
"I wasn't just lying to you, I was lying to myself too. I just want to be done with all of this. I want to put this in the past."
"The relationship or the fight?"
At this, Stiles has no words. He didn't get this far in his mind and Scott was right. Which one did he want in the past? He missed Derek a lot and the fight wasn't even worth tossing out all that love. They just need to talk through it some more and maybe that will fix it.
Maybe there was a going back, a way to reopen that door and to keep it open this time. No more slamming doors, shouts or tears. No more lies to themselves and no more hiding the truth.
