Days go on and Y/n continues to play this painful game of charades . Lena became more and more distant and that caught attention of the other agents too . They would always comfort you , especially McCree . Y/n constantly found herself in tears every morning and it made her sick of herself .
Right now , Y/n was with Lucio and Hana in Lucio's room doing a music session . Lena was of course out and not coming back till night . They would only ever see each other during mission and before bed . They would still share kisses but Y/n felt it was just not the same . Y/n was so caught up in her thoughts , she didn't notice Lucio calling her name .
"Y/n?" Lucio called . "You okay?" he asks . Y/n looks at him and smile . "Yeah , yeah sorry . Did I interrupt you jam session?" Y/n asks worriesly . "Nah , me and Hana are just worried . Want to share why?" Lucio asks . Y/n froze but she just shook it off . "Maybe one day." Y/n flashes a fake smile . "Well , if you find the pain to much , music is always the way to pour your heart out." Lucio smiles . "Now back to jamming." he says .
Y/n , Lucio and the occasional help of Hana , the three had made beats , songs and lyrics . Y/n would smile but it would never last long . She always think about Lena , and she hated herself for it . "What about you Y/n?" Lucio asks . "What?" Y/n says , embarrassed . "You want to go to the canteen with us?" Lucio chuckles . "No , thanks . You two go ahead , I'll just wait here." Y/n says . "Okay then . We won't take long." Lucio says before leaving to the room with Hana . "Oh and don't forget , if your in pain and its to much , music is always the way to pour your heart out." Lucio says before going back out .
Y/n stared into nothing , her mind blank her heart empty . It was a normal feeling now . She'd just wish that she woke up earlier from her coma and maybe she would be able to prevent all of this . Y/n felt her heart clench . She hated the feeling of being in pain but what could she do . She did this to herself and now she must endure it . Y/n then found herself staring at the piano in the corner of the room .
Y/n stood up and walked over to it . She grazed her fingers over the white smooth keys and sat down . She played a few keys , making herself a beat , then some lyrics .
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Y/n sang , her heart pouring itself out .
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
She couldn't . Y/n loved her to much . To much that she couldn't hurt the Brit , even if Y/n was in pain .
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I want you
No matter how badly she wanted to hate Lena , she didn't . She wanted her , she loved her . And she hated it .
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her
Y/n thought that maybe Emily was better for Lena , but that would mean leaving Y/n completely .
All alone I watch you watch her
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen
Lena had somtimes brought Emily to the canteen and would stare at her with loving eyes . The same eyes that used to stare at her .
You don't care you never did
You don't give a damn about me
Did she ? Y/n thought . Y/n would care so dearly about her . She waited for her everyday , but Lena didn't seem to care .
Yeah, all alone I watch you watch her
She is the only thing you ever see
It hurts Y/n said internally . For her , it hurt , it burns .
How is it you never notice
That you are slowly killing me?
Lena never seemed to care . Not even noticing how bad Y/n's feelings were . Lena was killing her . And Y/n let her .
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her
She finished the song and wiped her tears , that were falling from her cheeks . "Y/n?" Hana called . Y/n looks to see Hana and Lucio standing there , a suprised and sad expression on their faces . "Okay , seeing you mop is one thing , crying is to much . Tell us what happened and no dodging this time." Hana said sternly .
Y/n started to share what she had been holding in . With each word Y/n said , the more angry and sad their faces became . "And she still hasn't told me the truth." Y/n sobs . Lucio and Hana had never seen Y/n cry . "Man , what Lena must've done broke her." Lucio whispers to Hana . Y/m had fallen asleep and right now Lucio and Hana were talking about what to do . "How dare she ?! I warned her already." Hana says , clearly fuming .
"Calm down , but should we tell anyone?" Lucio says . "No , don't." Y/n says drowsily . "If Lena finds out I know about her and Emily , she would just apologize just because she got caught . I want to see what her true colours are." Y/n says . "What about Genji ? Or Zenyatta ? Someone that can calm you down." Hana suggests . "Hey , thats pretty good . But I won't tell him." Y/n says .
"Yeah , yeah , we won't tell nobody . Now go!" Hana says . Y/n heads out to find Zenyatta at the gardens . "Y/n , greetings . What has brought you to come here?" Zenyatta asks . "I have a lot of problems and I needed someone who could calm it down." Y/n says . The omnic turns to look at her and inspects her . "Something has inflicted wounds upon your heart but now you must heal." Zenyatta says .
From that day forward , Y/n meditated with him and Genji daily . To help . To soothe the pain .
I had to add the song . It was good . Anyways thanks for 200 reads . Its not much but I'm greatful for it . See ya !!
-Canine🐾
