life is made of countless of tracks and i am a runner. some i can choose, some are presented to me, pull me in even when i can't hear the counts.
in one of those tracks, i was given a chance to meet you, a hand that offered a drink, a temporary taste of peacefulness in between my rushing blood and lungs gasping for air.
but i wanted to keep running and i asked you for one thing, the most precious thing a man can ask from another man; time.
i asked you to wait, you asked me where.
anywhere, i said, as long as it is still in this track.
but none of us can see the end, and i kept running i forgot to look back. my pace was never fast and i needed to keep running even when i was suffocated even when everything was dark even when every inch of my muscle was howling stop stop stop enough enough enough
rest, you told me one day, it's okay, but i wanted to keep running, i need to, i need to. i should have already seen another track but i'm still here, i'm still here, and this is not right.
i wanted to keep running and i asked you one more time; to wait.
but you spared me enough and you got tired of waiting. my blood was still rushing but you were no longer reaching out your hand and i still wanted to keep running.
so that is how i couldn't find you on my tracks anymore. that is how you are gone, that is how you are nothing but a soothing dream that wasn't supposed to even exist, that is how i left, that is how we both left.
then i made an oath with hands filled with tired heart and sore bones, to run so fast, fast, faster, faster and faster until everything turns into a bunch of shadows until my lungs ripped out of my chest until my feet bleed until my whole existence pressed into nothingness.
i took your time and this is how i make myself pay.
