lead singer || a tyler jøseph x reader

chapter 28

(JOSH POV)
I was simply talking to (Y/N) when I felt the worst pain I think I've ever felt. I wanted to scream, but I felt like I couldn't. She looked concerned.

Then darkness.

Now all I hear is a beeping sound that I recognize as a heart monitor. Is it mine? The beeping stays steady and I focus on it. Then I begin to think.

Did I have a heart attack? Am I even alive? Panic. Panic surges through me. I hear the beeping speed up. That isn't good. At least I am alive.

At least I think so.

Then, the beeping stops...

And it becomes a steady sound.

Darkness consumes me once again.

(Y/N POV)
"Are you afraid of the dark?" Josh had asked me once. It was late at night, and we were drinking hot chocolate. The three of us were sitting at the table. Tyler had pondered the question.

"Not the dark so much as the criminals that come out at night," I had answered quickly. "But there are times when I hate darkness."

We had spent the rest of the night talking. Tyler had been holding my hand under the table. As the sun rose, we transferred over to the couch and watched movies.

That was my favorite memory with Josh.

I felt responsible for Josh's injury. I felt like maybe, if he hadn't been stressed about my condition, it wouldn't have happened. The doctors repeatedly told us that it was preexisting, but I still worried. I couldn't help it.

At the moment, Tyler was sitting in the hospital room with me. He hadn't spoken since I had called him about Josh. He just sat in silence. I hated seeing him so upset. It broke my heart.

I watched him as I fiddled with the tubes attached to my wrist.

He didn't look up.

(TYLER POV)
I didn't even know what to think. The emotions that were jumbled up inside of me were too much to handle. For now, Josh was alive. At least, that was the last I had heard. I was praying that he was.

I needed Josh.

Okay, yes, we had rough patches. But what friendship didn't? I loved him. I hadn't told him enough while I could. He was my best friend. More like my brother. I couldn't imagine life without him.

My parents had come by a few times to say hello to (Y/N) and I. I hadn't told them about Josh yet. I decided I would tell them the next time they came to see us.

(Y/N) had told me that her favorite memory was us drinking hot chocolate. I remembered that day. She had made it from scratch, and it tasted like Christmas. It was delicious.

My favorite memory with Josh was a little different. We had been lying out in the grass, looking up at the stars.

"We're gonna make it big one day. You and I, Tyler and Josh. The lead singer and the drummer," he had told me. I could hear the calmness in his voice. For once, he seemed truly happy. He seemed like he was in paradise.

"When we do, I don't want this to fade. Ever. Our friendship needs to stay the same. You're more than a brother to me," I had answered.

"I promise it won't." He smiled, and then pointed back at the sky. "Look, it's the Little Dipper."

"That's you, because you're the drummer." He elbowed me, and I laughed. I wanted that day back. I needed that day back.

I got up, and noticed that (Y/N) was smiling at me. I forced a smile and walked downstairs to the cafeteria. I knew she was thinking about Josh, so I went to the cafeteria.

I grabbed a cup and poured hot water in it. The steam twirled around in the air. I poured a hot chocolate packet in and stirred it with a straw. For some reason, it was calming. The sweet smell of hot chocolate mixed with the constant twirl of the hot, brown liquid reminded me of the days when I could be happy.

When I wasn't mixing hot chocolate in a hospital cafeteria.

I took the elevator back up, counting the floors that we stopped on. One. Two. Three. Skipped four. Five. Six. Seven. I got off and walked towards her hospital room, hot chocolate in hand.

"Got this for you," I said quietly. "It's hot." I set it on the table by her bed, and she smiled brightly.

"Thank you," she answered, and she sipped it. She stuck out her tongue. I could tell that it was too hot for her. She set it back down, still smiling.

I smiled back.

When I closed my eyes and inhaled the delicious hot chocolate aroma, I could almost put myself back at home. Back on the couch where I cuddled with her.

I felt happy for a second.

Then I opened my eyes again, and noticed that she had fallen asleep. I walked over to her, pulled the blankets up, and kissed her forehead.

You don't know what true pain is until you experience it. True pain is watching your girlfriend put on a brave face as she fights for her life in a hospital room. True pain is wondering whether your best friend is alive or not.

True pain is when the doctor walks into the room and says "I've got news."

I stand up as the man pulls me out into the hallway.

"I have good news and bad news." He has his hands in his pockets. "The good news is, Josh Dun is stable enough to be in surgery, which he is."

I nodded, suppressing my happiness.

"The bad news is, we don't know if we can get him off bypass. And if we can, we face high risk of complications." I didn't really understand what he was saying, and I think he noticed. "Basically, we don't know if we can get him out of surgery. And if we can, his survival rate is extremely low."

The words set with me, but I didn't feel sad. For some reason, I felt hopeful.

They had said that about (Y/N), and she was still alive. They still pumped medicines through her veins. She was living and breathing.

At least, for now.