An ear piercing scream,
Like a violin
Playing 4th finger on E.
The worst nights,
Aren’t when my parents
Come in yelling.
They’re when that scream,
Is silent.
And they don’t even know,
Because I know better
Than to tell them
And wake them
Over a nightmare.
A stupid,
Dream.
So I sit there, terrified,
Afraid to move,
Afraid to make a single sound.
No longer, do i crave
For them to come in
And comfort me.
On those nights,
I’m just willing to hear them scream.
Anything,
To not feel so scared;
So alone.
Something,
To prove that they care.
Even if it’s only about them,
Even if them caring,
Is just pretend.
I hate staying the night
With friends
Or family,
Because of this.
And the memories,
And nightmares,
In my own head.
I know it’s just dreams
But sometimes,
They feel so real,
Especially
If when i wake,
I just remember the fear..
It captures you,
Paralysing,
Makes you scared to move,
So you sit there crying.
Crying for mom
Crying for dad
But they never come,
So you’re stuck alone.
And that’s scary too,
With no comfort,
Or love.
Especially
When the nightmares,
Are based on that.
So given the opportunity
To have comfort at night?
I don’t know what to do with that,
How to handle that.
Waking you,
My big sister up,
Is terrifying.
In all honesty,
I’m scared you’ll yell,
Or turn me away,
And i’m even scared
If you’ll allow me to stay.
You’ve dealt with siblings before,
Waking you up,
But me?
I’ve never had that.
I don’t know what to do with that.
Usually,
I know to be silent,
To not make a sound,
So it’s going to be weird,
To even say,
“Hey Sis, please wake up.”
YOU ARE READING
From The Pen To The Soul
PoetrySometimes, writing isn't an option; it's a necessity. This is my story. Everything I write, is a part of me. But it's up to you, to find your story; connect to yourself through my writing. (Most of these are sent to my big sister)
