Will We Ever See the End? (lashton au) (ON HOLD)

Chapter 13

CAN I JUST SAY THAT THERE ARE SOME FANFICS THAT I GET SO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TOO THAT WHEN THEY END I CRY AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE
ALSO AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO IS REALLY PICKY ABOUT FANFICS LIKE FIRST OFF MOST STRAIGHT FANFICS MAKE ME GAG SORRY IDEK AND I ONLY SHIP LASHTON LIKE I COULD NEVER READ BOTH LASHTON AND MUKE OR SOMETHING LIKE NO I JUST CAN'T
AND LASTLY IM PICKY ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP ITSELF LIKE ASHTON NEEDS TO BE SUBMISSIVE AND LUKE IS DOMINANT OK
Wow I might as well make a book of my ranting 😂 sorry bye
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Kellin's POV

Before I could even consider how ridiculous I was being, I ran out of the room, tears clouding my vision. Ashton didn't need anymore guilt, and I knew that. I felt so stupid; how did I miss the signs? I knew he was down on himself, I knew his family wasn't supportive of him, yet I ignored everything. I was too caught up in myself to realize my best friends silent pleas for help.

I'm so damn selfish.

I was full on ugly sobbing now, avoiding stares people were giving me as I stumbled into the bathroom down the hall from Ashton's hospital room.

Once I made sure no one was in any of the stalls, I slid down on the floor and broke down. I hate when people see me cry. Luke, Ashton and Vic already saw enough. Vic saw me cry.

I wanted to scream. He probably thinks I'm stupid and dramatic, running out of the room like that.

I like Vic. A lot. Ever since I met him, I couldn't stop thinking about him. It hurt, because he probably didn't feel the same. He's straight. I'm... Not.

Only Ashton knows. I trust him, and I knew he wouldn't judge me because that'd be extremely hypocritical on his part.

He trusts me, too.

This is why I am a terrible friend. I was too busy thinking about Vic to realize Ashton was feeling suicidal and depressed. All I feel is guilt. That's what I should feel right now. Ashton could've died if he hadn't stopped himself.

More tears spilled out of my closed eyes. My heart hurt. How did I still have more tears to cry?

"Kellin?" It had to be him, the one person I didn't want to see me like this. Fucking hell. I couldn't hear the bathroom door open over my loud thoughts and tears. My eyes fluttered open, and I sniffled.

"J-Just-t g-go." My voice was still quivering from crying so much. Vic ignored my protest with a sad sigh and sat down on the floor next to me. Our shoulders brushed, and I felt my cheeks heat up. His eyes locked with mine.

"We're all worried about you, Kellin." I shook my head, staring down at my shoes.

"You guys should be worrying about Ashton, not me." Vic lowered his head to try to get me to look at him.

"Don't think like that. The three of us care about you a lot, and I know it's hard to see Ashton like this. I understand, you can talk to me. You can trust me." I looked up at him and bit my lip. Vic's warm brown eyes were searching my red and puffy ones. My face was flushed pink. I simply shrugged in response.

"There's obviously something on your mind to make you break down like that." I shrugged again, curling into myself. Why would he care what I have to say?

"Kellin, please talk to me." My blood started to boil. Why won't Vic just leave me alone?

"Do you really care about how I feel? Or are you just curious?" Vic was confused by my sudden outburst.

"Of course I care! Why wouldn't I?" I put my face in my hands.

"I-I don't know." I mumbled. I felt Vic wrap an arm around my shoulders. I suppressed the urge to flinch under his touch. I usually hated when people touched me, but Vic was an exception.

"It's alright." He said softly. I lifted my head up, hating myself for feeling another lump in my throat. I hated the tears filling up into my eyes.

"I-I feel g-guilty. Ashton he--he's my best friend. It's my responsibility to notice how quiet he was, how down he was feeling. I know Ashton--I know what he's going through. He trusts me enough to tell me everything--" I tried to choke down the tears, but it wouldn't work. I couldn't speak. I closed my eyes and squeezed the tears away. I felt Vic unwrap his arm from my shoulders. I instantly felt colder. What is he doing? Before I opened my eyes again to check if he was still there, I felt Vic pull me into his chest.

"Just c'mere. It's okay." He muttered, his arms securing me. Vic buried his nose into my hair, mumbling that it's not my fault. I cuddled my head into his chest to hide my blush. But I didn't believe what he was saying to me. It was my fault that Ashton almost killed himself. I was reckless and stupid.

I needed to be there for him, but I wasn't. Ashton was left alone with his thoughts, his dark thoughts, and I ended up getting myself into detention, so he had to go home by himself.

I punched a kid who made fun of Ashton, and I thought everything would be fine after that. But it wasn't. It was worse.

I got in a lot of trouble, though I'm used to it by now. But, Ashton--he told me he was fine. Then he turned his back on me and tried to commit suicide. That's not fine. He's not okay.

I see the way he and Luke look at each other. They both are too shy to ever admit it, but I notice the long stares and the sweet smiles. Ashton is in love. He should know how dangerous that is for him--if Luke leaves him, who knows what he will do?

Ashton isn't strong enough right now to deal with heartbreak. All I know is, if Luke leaves him then I'll chop his dick off.

Watch out, Luke Hemmings.
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Lmao Kellin being an overprotective friend hehe
Can Kellin Quinn please father my children
Or can he and Vic father children together
Plz
#michaelslays is one of the best hashtags ever goodbye I hope ur favorite band member fucks u raw
With swag,
Hannah

(I MAKE NO SENSE OH MY GOD WHY)