I'm drunk with feelings the 3/4 of my life. Joy, sadness, fear, whatever. The problem is that I'm scared of the good things that can be happening to me. I'm scared of having those feelings and to get attached for a « maybe » thing that can be letting down once again. It's sad to say but I've been more often let down and fooled than not. But I have a feeling that this time, maybe it's different. Maybe it wont be the usual. And I hope because I start to like him. And I am so fucking scared.
What happens in an healthy relation, what happens when you have nothing to worry about but in your deep self, you're so fucking scared and jealous of everything?
Is it my fault, if I've been built by bad, insincere relations, again and again? He's so not like the others. So much more. I think.
I'm scared to be happy for a bad thing and to be sad about good things happening. I don't wanna be stopped by fear. I wanna be able to feel it. This time, maybe it'll be right.
I hope.
VOUS LISEZ
•My own wrecked mind•
Poesia~Des fois ça va, d'autres non.~ Pensées quotidiennes, remises en doute. Poèmes, textes. Ce qui dompte mes pensées sauvages, les retiens en cage. Peu importe la langue, anglais, français, misère, douleur, apaisement ou bonheur.
