Fixated

((19))

Archer's P.O.V.

My legs were numb. 

If I wasn't sitting down I would be in the floor, maybe that's where I should be.

I couldn't say anything, I couldn't move.

The sentence that just left the officer's lips left me dazed, it replayed itself over and over again. 

I could hear Ms. Brown crying out beside me, the officer offering her a tissue. Jasper was sitting in the other room, awaiting the same news that we were told was too much for him.

"Ms. Brown, we're very sorry. Your daughter has been shot. We don't have much to tell you at this time, but she is headed into surgery now. We can take you to her in the hospital when you're ready," they said, bringing both of our world's into a crashing halt.

This is my fault.

My world was spinning as I stood from my chair, my whole body hurt as I tried to move.

"You should sit down, son," The officer said. 

I held my hand up to him, my hand suddenly balled into a tight fist. 

"I can-I can't just sit here," I mumbled, stumbling backwards as my hands shook. 

Ms. Brown just looked at me as she sobbed, her hands covering her face as she realized that I was looking back at her. 

"Can we go to her now?" She asked, standing up next to me. 

I let the first tear fall as he led us out to his squad car. I sat in the back as Ms. Brown go up front. I couldn't see straight as he drove, the lights and sirens roaring as we pulled into the hospital a few minutes later. 

He had to open the back door for me, which took longer than it needed to take, Raeleigh needs me. 

"Son," he called after me. 

"Sir?" I asked, my patience wearing thin.

"Do you want me to call your parents?" He asked, watching my look go from angry to shocked. 

"They wouldn't answer," I said, turning and walking back toward the hospital. 

I ran toward Ms. Brown, opening the door for her and running up to the front desk. 

"Is Raeleigh Brown out of surgery yet?" I asked, my voice raspy and loud. 

I didn't look at Ms. Brown as she caught up to me. 

The nurse looked at me blankly, her eyes glancing between me and Ms. Brown. 

"I'll have to check," She said, giving us a fake smile. 

I stood there for a minute as she just looked at us. 

"Are you gonna check?" I yelled, startling her as others started staring. 

She stuttered out some answer, typing quickly on the computer as Ms. Brown snatched my arm. 

"Hey!" She snapped. 

"She wasn't even moving, Ms. Brown. I just want to see Raeleigh," I said, trying not to yell at Raeleigh's mom. 

"It is not her fault, she doesn't know what is going on. I want to get to her just as bad as you. No, I want her more than you do, she's my daughter. Don't you think I get how much she means to you? I was in love once too," She said, her tears drying as she scolded me. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I mumbled over and over, her words cutting deep. 

It isn't her fault.