Broken Teacups

xvi. blind

vision had always been an unfamiliar term to me. i knew what it meant but not how it felt. doomed to a life without it right from the start, i couldn't really expect to know much about it, could i?

we'd tried all sorts of treatments and medications but nothing ever worked. i'd accepted from a very early age that there was absolutely no hope for my eyes. i always knew, from the very beginning, that i would never, ever be able to see.

i would never know what exactly is so appealing about the moon that whole paintings have been painted and poems have been written about it. i would never know what it is about making somebody smile that warms everybody's hearts. i would never know the beauty of the sky and humility of the ground and i would never see the depths of the oceans.

what hurt most of all was the fact that i'd never get to see my own face.

although i had grown quite used to it, it would occasionally anger me and make me feel terrible. why i had to lose something so simple yet so intricate is something i could never comprehend. and oh, how deeply it pierced my soul. no matter how many times i told myself it would be okay, it still stung, and never failed to cause my fists to clench.

it drove me insane and absolutely miserable.

until you came along.

everybody spoke of the fire in your eyes and the passion in your soul. they talked of how you always walked with a spring in your step and how your presence could instantly brighten anything. they praised your elegance and your grace and boasted that your smile could stop wars.

and unlike most other people, you weren't afraid of me. you ignored my sullenness, my cynicism and my outright dislike for other human beings. you simply took my hand and showed me places i'd never thought i'd be able to see. places i shouldn't have been able to see.

but i saw them.

with you by my side, life didn't seem so lonely and dull anymore. you added a little something to my monotony; a sparkle to my existence.

i remember the last ever time i was with you. your voice was filled with enthusiastic wonder and your warm hug melted my insides. we simply sat on the grass for hours and hours, talking about the randomest things ever. and before leaving, you squeezed my hand and promised to spend time with me again soon. i felt bad that you were going away, but squeezed your hand back nonetheless, realizing that if i could ever be granted my wish for sight for a few seconds, i would use it not to gaze at a mirror and finally discover how i look, but to see you in all your saddened beauty and charming delicacy at that moment.

sadly, i was never graced with your presence again.

but that night, for the first and last time ever, all the colors i had never and would never see, i could feel.

and oh, what a lovely feeling it was.