Broken Teacups

xi. letters

Amelia Jane Maxwell,

I love you. There I said it. I. Love. You. I have loved you, in fact, for a very long time. Ever since the day we met. Okay, not exactly, because we met in kindergarten and I didn't even know the meaning of love back then but that's not the point. The point is that I have loved you for so long I don't even remember when I first felt this way for you and that's huge because you know I never forget anything, especially when it comes to dates, which is why I always score well in history and you always punch me in the shoulder when I get back my perfectly graded test sheet and that slight touch from you is enough to send my head whirling but I won't talk about that anymore because I'm straying off topic again and I should really stop doing that because I love you a lot and I've finally got the balls to tell you that I do and all my rambling is screwing me up.

Anyway, what I want you to know is, I think you're quite awesome, and you know I think that because I tell you that every day but I want you to know that I mean it. Amelia, you are very awesome. So awesome that, for so many years, I could never summon the guts to tell you that I liked you. And when I was finally gaining some courage to tell you that, I realised that I didn't just like you; I loved you. I really, really loved - love - you. And that, of course, brought my bravery down by one hundred percent and I had to wait for a very, very long time before I could get the balls again. But yesterday, I watched a movie in which this dude lost his girlfriend in a freak accident and went insane and although I won't ever go insane without you - pfft, I can live without you (I MOST CERTAINLY CANNOT) - (I WILL DEFINITELY GO INSANE WITHOUT YOU), I wondered what I would do if I lost you. The answer I came up with is extremely scary and horrifying so I won't go on about it. But anyways, after coming up with the scary answer, I realised that it would hurt even worse if I lost you without ever telling you how I feel.

So, here I am, writing this letter to you, confessing my undying love for you. Because you never know when things can go wrong and whether we'll have a tomorrow or not. So just in case we don't, I'm here to tell you that today, right now, I'm in love with you. I'm so in love with you, Amelia, I don't even know how to explain what I'm feeling. But I'm feeling something alright and it's all thanks to you. I don't know what I'll do if you don't feel the same way about me but for now, I'm pretty pleased with myself for actually telling you how I feel - even though it's through a letter and not directly (still not brave enough, sorry) - and so, I think I'll end this letter here.

Love, your one and only [Cody, in case you couldn't figure it out, in which case, you have severely broken my heart, but it's okay - I'll gladly go through all the pain in the world for you (I mean, I'll sure try to - you know I have terrible pain tolerance)]