thoughts ;

gentle & kind

Realizing that I deserve a gentle and kind love was the first step
Realizing that real love shouldn't put you through excruciating pain came next
Realizing that if you really love someone , the idea of them hurting shouldn't just be a thought you can shrug off
None of that is love
So to say you're my first love is a lie to myself & the world
Because you still stabbed me in the heart when you knew I was still patching myself up from the last time