just more poetry!

*shrugs*

This to me, is not really a poem. More of a rant. But think of it as whatever you wish.

I in all honesty,
don't know what to do.
I just feel sad and different,
unneeded.
I wish it felt different at my "home",
but instead it just makes it worse.
Having to act as if you're happy is tiring.
Being left alone every weekend to be within my head is maddening,
let alone every single night just staring at the ceiling,
wishing I can change this feeling but it won't.
It just won't leave.
To me you are my real home though,
I feel "safe" with you.
If I'm with you,
it subsides just a bit.
And that's better then nothing.
I try my best to be with you whenever I can,
it never works.
It makes the feeling in the pit of my stomach and heart,
ach,
but sadly I can't do anything to change that.
Can't do anything to make it so that you hold me every time I cry,
to make me feel actually wanted.
Can't do anything to make the distence that's grown between us lessen.
I can't do much of anything.
I'm sorry.
I know it really is selfish of me,
but can you stay with me?
I need a friend.