Kiss Me Now, Kiss Me Never

Whispered Confessions

This starts back to fill in the missing scenes.

Bella

It had been two days since I'd walked out of Lou's Diner, walked away from Edward. Twice, I had tried to get myself off with my vibrator, but it was useless. It wasn't until I envisioned Edward working me with his fingers and cock that I finally shattered.

Even then, it was nothing compared to the oblivion Edward had managed to send me into multiple times. The arrogant, cocky bastard had become something more. An addiction – no, that wasn't the right definition. There was an intensity and even intimacy, despite the lack of kissing between us. His eyes held a sense of home and familiarity. All that shit scared me.

I had done the only thing I could think of – gotten a tattoo. I hadn't been planning on getting any more, but Leah, my friend and tattoo artist extraordinaire, had said that sometimes you needed to commemorate things that were significant in your life. Each one of my hearts were tied to something in my life.

Each one was inked into my flesh as a reminder that I was never meant to love another.

The Queen of Hearts title Edward had bestowed upon me was fitting in many ways. I'd picked out a vintage print of the card to have Leah ink and had her add a tear under the queen's eye. That was for Riley, and soon I'd have to add another.

Jesse, victim number seven, would not make it past the New Year. It was achingly clear that I would never find a way to break the spell. My mother Renee and my aunt, Emmett's mother Christina, were the only living relatives that knew of the curse. My mother, being the oldest and first born of their generation, had done research, but it only led to dead ends. I had always felt that she'd never given it much heart; I thought she was afraid.

Afraid that if the spell was broken, my father would no longer love her.

I wanted a reminder of Edward, only because it would reiterate that I could never have someone like him with me – ever. I had only planned the queen card, but Leah had mentioned that it would be really hot if I represented my king. Luckily, it was only the heart and letter, or else I'd would've have been tempted for her to give the king card green eyes.

I had wanted to see him again, but I wouldn't attempt to seek him out. What if he didn't want to see me again? Worse, what if he didn't remember me? Someone like him had to have directory full of women.

I had met Alice for lunch on Wednesday to discuss a photo shoot. I could see Alice and me becoming good friends. She was kind, fun to talk with, and her personality was bubbly and sweet. She'd been a bit nosey when she'd asked a million questions about me, but I'd managed to answer as honestly as possible.

But, hell, I had been dying to ask about her cousin, but I'd held back. Then Alice had said the magic words toward the end of our lunch. Edward had asked about me and even asked for my phone number.

I had tried to hide how much that pleased me, because I was afraid that Alice would tell Edward. But I'd failed; she had seen the smile light up my face and eyes. Her eyes had glistened as she smiled, programming all the numbers I could all her with, including Jasper's and Edward's.

I had tried to act like the new information had no effect on me, but Alice had a knowing look in her eyes. I really liked her no-nonsense attitude and really enjoyed her company. Since I was basically new to the area, it was nice to know I had made a new friend. Jasper, Alice and Edward seemed to be what I was looking for and needed. Not that I was going to tell him that.

After lunch with Alice, I had been tempted to call him three times. I'd wanted to call and tell him I wanted to see him. I hadn't been able to escape the haunted look on his face when I'd left that day. I'd wanted to replace the memory with his breathtaking smile or maybe his rich laughter.