Kiss Me Now, Kiss Me Never

Journal

Edward

Dad would be home soon. Though I feared what the journals might hold, the secrets within, I needed to know if there was hope on ending our curse.

It'd been three days since I confessed how I felt about Bella and ever since, my need to kiss her increased. And I had no idea what it meant. Everything Bella had said about her victims had led me to believe that I was not cursed. She literally could walk all over these men, with the exception for those that turned obsessive, and they would allow it.

And fuck, if I'd let her do that to me. Take for instance, the other night; she worked late into the night on her computer, typing away as she wrote. She'd been at it for hours and I could see that she was exhausted. I had walked up behind her, saved her document, and threw her over my shoulder.

She screamed and pounded at my back. Then I tied her to the bed until she screamed for completely different reasons, and she'd forgiven me. Had I been cursed, she said that the individual would have been content to just be in the same room with her. Fuck that, I needed more.

I'd never been so dependent on anyone until her. And that shit scared the fuck out of me. Though I knew my future had her in it, I feared what would happen if she knew the truth.

I plopped down on my couch, fucking exhausted from a long rotation at the hospital. Bella was due any minute for lunch. She spent the morning with Jasper and Alice, and that wasn't weird at all. Fuck my life had turned into a Goddamn soap opera.

I knew she had to do it—see these other men—but it still fucking hurt like a bitch.

Minutes later, I heard the telltale sign of someone putting a key into the lock of my front door. My baby was home. I had given her a copy the previous night and it felt real good that she was already using it.

I closed my eyes, trying to keep the smirk off my face as I pretended to sleep. Curious as to what she'd do when she found me asleep, I did my best to appear as if I hadn't heard her. After I heard the door close, there was a crinkle of plastic bags from the take-out she promised to bring. A few seconds later, I heard her sigh softly as she drew a throw blanket over me.

"Oh, baby, you need to take care of yourself," she murmured, kissing my forehead. I caught a whiff of her scent and it took all my control not to grab her and get her under me. My usual reaction to her made my scrubs two sizes too tight. I heard her moan softly when she noticed. "Somebody is having a good dream."

I heard her turn away, but I quickly snapped up and pulled her over me. She screamed and laughed, slapping my hands away.

"You are such a bad actor." She gasped as I nipped her neck. "I know when you're sleeping."

"Does that mean you watch me sleep?" She rolled her eyes. "That's creepy."

She laughed and wiggled her gorgeous body against mine. "Now, how about some lunch?"

"I think I'll skip to dessert."

And luckily, she agreed.

An hour later, as we sat in my living room, she yawned, stretching along my couch. "We should go to the airport." I nodded and patted her knees that were laid out across my lap. "You still think it's a good idea for us to take your dad to my place?"

"We have to," I said firmly. "He's been so fucking consumed by the curse, the journals, and shit. He needs a chance to relax."

"And it'll give me a chance to get my hands on the journals."

I yawned, stretching as I rose to my feet. "You're not starting on that shit right away," I said as I pulled her up, too. "We all need a fucking break."