Kiss Me Now, Kiss Me Never

All Ties

Bella

"I kissed her in her sleep."

"No! No! No!"

My reaction was instantaneous. The anger, the hurt and betrayal rushed from my heart to shatter me completely. It took Carlisle's hands on my face for me to realize that I was still screaming.

Edward looked at me with such fear in his eyes, frozen where he stood. There was defeat clearly written across his face. Nothing like the others, I tried to tell myself. They would've had that vacant expression the second I was in the room with them.

"Bella, calm down," his father said, whispering in my ear as he held me together.

And I was still screaming, whimpering and inconsolable.

Edward scrambled into action, pushing Carlisle away to take me into his arms. "Baby, baby, it's okay. I'm so fucking sorry."

I pounded my fists against his chest, but he held me too tight to do any damage. How could I inflict physical hurt on him when soon he'd be like all the others? I stopped, feeling so fucking helpless. His words barely registered as the pain became too much. For a few short moments, or perhaps several, I barely breathed.

Edward continued to whisper in my ear, holding me as close as possible. It was too much. I stiffened in his arms, the sobs that escaped since I heard his confession to Carlisle ceased as everything came in startling clarity.

For someone who'd had an abundance of love come her way, the way I had earned it because of the curse, I had hardened my heart against it all of my life. I hadn't allowed myself to feel the kind of love that consumed a person's heart, mind and soul until I met Edward.

To have had him return his feelings only days earlier, it felt like redemption had finally come to cure me of all the dark parts that had threatened to destroy me. To have it tainted, even with the tiniest black spot, marred it and made it something different.

Hope held me together, only barely. I knew what I had to do. It was the only way to know what was real. As I pushed him away, I could see that he knew that it would happen in such a way. A mask was firmly in place on his face, waiting for the inevitable.

"You need to go," I said firmly, wiping at the last of my tears.

It was there, the smallest of movements from left to right as his jaw clenched tight. Carlisle suddenly filled my vision, capturing my face and tearing my gaze from Edward. "Bella," he said softly, tenderly. "Please, don't do this."

"I can't have him here if he's cursed," I stated.

"Fuck that!" Edward roared, taking me from his father's grip. "I'm not goddamned cursed, Bella. And you fucking know it!" His eyes were so fierce and filled with anguish and fear, his face less than an inch from mine. I felt the breath of his words on my lips, reminding me of what I was about to lose.

Do you really love me?

"No. I don't know for sure, Edward," I murmured. "I admit you act much differently than the others that kissed – "

"Don't you fucking dare compare me to them," he spat as his dad pulled him away from me, acting as a wall between us. "You know what I feel for you is real," he said as he struggled against Carlisle. "You believed it that night, the next morning and every damn hour since."

I nodded, because I did believe him with every fiber of my body. Then. Having heard him, there were a few that doubted.

"When did you do it?" I asked gravely.

The anger in his face dissipated, as defeat once again took over. "The night you told me about the curse." All that time? Weeks had passed; how could he not tell me? Easy, he knew how I'd react.