Kiss Me Now, Kiss Me Never

Tough Love

Edward

Ten days shouldn't feel like a damn eternity. Ten days shouldn't make me want to drive back to Bella's and give her a piece of my mind. However, ten days seemed to be enough. And it wasn't just the blue balls.

I missed everything about her. The way she smelled and the way she bit her lip when she concentrated. There was the hypnotic sway of her hips as she cooked and the slightly off key way she sang along to a song on the radio. I missed the fire and playfulness that should've been a contradiction, but for her, it worked.

Worse, I was sure that all the others felt the level of anger, need and love after being away from her too long. But there were differences between them and me. I was a fucking descendant from one side of the curse, I really loved her, and I would never do anything to hurt her.

That was what hurt me the most. The fact that she categorized me in the same group that had kissed her before pissed me off. Every time I worked up a good anger, I found myself reaching for my keys and ready to run to see her. That was what kept me from going, the desperate need to see her.

Admittedly, after being away from her too long, there was a part of me that needed the time to myself, too. Not only to prove to her that my feelings were real, but give me time to evaluate our future.

Could we have one? What if we couldn't find a way to break the spell?

I knew we could try, and live with the fact that we could never truly kiss each other any longer. I would never kiss her more than once more as a precaution. I'd never be able to cope with her hating me.

However, my parents had married and managed almost sixteen years of a blissful marriage, only to end when Dad gave into the temptation to kiss Mom again. It was their third kiss, and the end of their relationship.

That was when I realized why it was so important to Bella to know the truth. And why I'd never be able to kiss her for the third time. What kind of future could we really have? Testing me was not only to prove my feelings, but it would give her hope to a future together.

I had originally put miles between us because I was so angry with her and the whole situation in general. But the truth of the matter was that I needed the miles apart in an attempt to not give into temptation and go see her.

I couldn't risk it. I had to pass the test; not only for her but for me, too. I was still angry as fuck. I was pissed, because I was worried about her. She'd been punishing herself for years. I had no clue what she was doing and if she was taking care of herself.

I sighed as I tossed the can of beer onto the deck; I'd clean it later. What I needed to do is go find a damn place for a cell phone. The beach house wasn't equipped with working landlines, the cheap bastards, and I lost my cell phone at the gas station when I had to go out of my way to find a mechanic willing to work on my car in Lompoc on the drive down to the beach house.

I needed to call Alice and Dad since I was sure they were freaking out. I hadn't talked to anyone in three fucking days. Yeah, Dad would be worried and tell Bella, who would, in all likelihood, become upset and come looking for me.

Did I want that? Probably, because the two sentence week she put on us was excessive and she knew it. A week I could live with, but I was getting desperate to see her. Desperate enough to not give a fuck about the mess that I let pile up in the last couple of days.

When I wasn't running along the beach, I was lounging, reading up on fucking ciphers and witchcraft. The mess seemed to be a distraction, every time I started to think of Bella, I'd look around and feel myself twitch in disgust. So I left it.