If She Only Knew

Prom

More days passed, hearing that a Prom was going to be held in the gym at school. I never liked proms or even dances, but if you have a mother who insists buying and wanting you to go, then you know how I feel.

Yeah, I have been to a few dances but boring if your sitting the whole night through without a dance partner or not being asked by a guy. My stomach was tied in knots, only hearing that the girls in the school where to ask any guy to it, vise versa.

Of course Lucy has already asked Jesse, seeing him walking the halls like he owned them, there were times I wished everything was normal, and Jesse still talked to me. And seeing his stare was holding so enchanting, those ripped black jeans with skin showing.

It all became unclear to me it was so hard to look at him, it literally hurts to see him. Why did he pretend and fake everything ? What if I'm not over him yet ? Or was he really over me ? Maybe I'm not ready to let go. Maybe I'm just over this thinking too much. 

I don't know what I'm after now, oh Jesse... I can't just call anymore and hear his voice, or maybe I missed that devilish smile he had which made my heart skip a beat. Now every time I see him enter a room I was in, I literally couldn't speak or move, my body literally pulsed tight.

But then thinking I nearly felt the same when seeing Hayden, his piercing blue eyes that were just so deeply captivating, those dimples appearing every time he smiled, ok maybe his messy hair and that gripping stare when he glanced over towards me.

Why is this happening ? I'm literally quivering because of their perfectness. Why do guys just have to be so handsome ? Kinda not fair, yeah ok girls can be very gorgeous too but every person on Earth is made different and has their own kind of beauty. 

Nearly every time at school, around every corner I'd see some girl asking a guy out to the dance, I knew Lucy already asked Jesse, and feeling that Ember has asked Hayden to it, I haven't seen her in a while, since the last time I did see her and Hayden at the mall.

I knew how mom would get when I told her about the "Prom" she was thrilled that she just needed to find a nice dress and a mask, she literally took me to every store in the mall trying on dresses. Later that evening, mom had found the dress. 

It was a light blue chiffon long dress, I had heels already from another dance party I had gone to that was a year ago. That god awful day came, mom was dropping me off " have fun sweetie" she rolled down the window and waved. "Sure mom" I said then walked off.

Walking into the hallway of the school, seeing a bunch of girls snapping selfies with their cells and making funny faces to "capture" the moment. I literally rolled my eyes at that, coming into the gym it was packed with dancing people. I was already starting to doubt that I came.

Glancing around, I spotted Lucy dancing with Jesse, she looked as she was wearing a black short dress and Jesse in black pants and a white shirt. Didn't seem like he dressed that well, probably made Lucy a little mad about it.

I was starting to head to the chairs to sit "may I have this dance ?" I turned my head a little over my left shoulder. I didn't recognize the person, "sure" I said. As then a slow song came on, I felt his hand slide around my waist as he started to lead. "Where is your date ?" he asked. 

"Hmm, oh I don't have one" I told him. "You're serious ?" he asked. "Serious" I explained. "I find that odd really, I do apologize but only because you seem like a girl who would have someone and that you are a pretty person" he explained. "Thank you, no worries really" I said. 

"But I am serious, how is it that a guy like any of these guys here isn't dancing with you ?" he asked. I bit my lip, "honesty I wouldn't know" I told him. "Well sometimes guys are blind to take notice of a girl here, we can be picky I would say" he stated. 

"I would guess so" I said. "Well...just wait some person will come around for you" he smiled. The song ended and he stopped dancing and moved, "thank you for the dance" he gave a little bow. "Your welcome" I said then after he walked away. 

Not even long after, standing by the table getting a drink "hi" I turned to see Jesse. "Hi Jesse" I said. "You look nice" he said filling up a plastic cup. "Thanks" I said, though it felt very awkward between us now. "So...how are you ?" he asked sipping his drink. 

"Oh I'm good, you ?" I asked. "Good" he said. "So here with Lucy ?" I asked. "Yeah" he sounded like he wasn't happy when saying it. "You here with someone ?" he asked. Thinking, should I say I am or not, "yeah, I'm just waiting for him to get back" I said. 

"Ok well see you then" he threw a small smile at me. I smiled back, taking a deep breath I set my cup onto the table "Mona !" turning to see Ember throwing her arms over my shoulders to hug me. "Oh god wow, you look unbelievable" she said. I smiled "you look beautiful too" I said.

She was wearing a V-neck dark green dress, it was quite reveling but was beautiful on her. "How are you ?" she asked me. "I'm good, and you ?" I asked. "Great, I'm great. So hey I took your advise and it worked" she told me. "Oh, yeah" I said my head was starting to hurt. 

"Yeah, I asked Joey out" she said. "Joey ? I thought you asked Hayden ?" I asked confused. "What no, Joey is my lab partner, I like him" she said. My brain was over loading, "I...I'm very confused now" I said. "You thought I liked Hayden ? Just cause I called him hot ?" she asked.

"Well yeah, I don't know" I said. She laughed, "he maybe hot, but not my type" she said after. "So...you didn't ask him to this dance ?" I asked. "No, I asked Joey" she said. "Someone say my name ?" a tall guy walked over. "Ah, Joey this is my bestie Mona" Ember told him.

"So your Mona I've been hearing about,  she talks about you" he said. I smiled "I bet she does" I said. "Great meeting you" I said. "You too" Joey said. "You leaving ?" Ember asked as she tilted her head. "Yeah, getting late" I said. "You sure ?" she asked. "Yeah" I said. 

"Ok, have a good night" she said then hugged me again then walked off after Joey. Walking towards the gym door, I walked down the hallway, it was dead silent. The only sounds were of my heels clicking on the tile floor, and the sound of music thumping through the walls. 

Stepping outside there was a light breeze skating through the air, biting down on my lip, I started to walk home. "Mona wait !" I heard a voice behind me, twirling around. "Hayden" "Where you going ?" he asked "Home" I said. "Why home ? I'd like to dance with you" he said.

I stared at him, gazing at his suit but my eyes noticed his blue bow tie. "Cause I have nothing better to do, and home sounds better then being somewhere then feeling alone" I told him. "You're not alone Mona" he said stepping closer. 

"I am, have you ever been so bullied that you just feel so lost, like you don't know where you are anymore. Like you're just ashamed of life" and everything just came out. I started pacing "how is life so meaning less" I wanted to cry. "Mona" I felt his hands gently wrap around my arms.

I licked my lips, I did feel my eyes get watery. "Your life is precious to you always, and it will always be that way, people only bring you down is just because they are jealous. You are not alone here" he said. I felt one tear roll down my cheek. 

I felt his hand at the side of my face, his thumb softly wiping the tear away, his presence felt closer. "I know this may seem odd coming from me, since I'm a guy in all but...you have no idea how important you are to me, and I have no way how to explain it" he said. 

"You have no way of explaining it ? What if I'm not important ?" I asked eyeing the grass. He moved my chin up "I'm in love with you" he said. "Your...." I said but he cut me off quickly and kissed me. "But I push people away, it's just how I am" I said after. 

"Oh hell no, there will be no pushing me away, you push, I'll just pin you and never let go" he said. I smiled and shook my head a little, "no one's going to love you more that I do" he told me. "Stop being so perfect" I told him. "I can't, you make perfect sound great" he said.