If She Only Knew

Breathe

Over the next following days, Jesse and I hung out more and more, and I was falling in love every day with him. Maybe I was scared because he meant more to me than any other person, he was everything to think about, everything I needed, and everything I wanted.

Next day at school. I dressed really nice for him. I was wearing a blue floral print dress, a white cardigan over it and with some black flats. First class was acting/drama, and the teacher divided the groups into two. 

"Now class, our scene has a dash of romance and a dash of sadness, who would like to demonstrate it ?" she asked us. Everyone glanced around at each other, who will do it ? I found myself raising my own hand. "Good good, now who wants to be the guy ?" she asked.

Again everyone looked around. Feeling insecure I felt like going back to my seat, til a hand raised up. "Thank you Hayden" the teacher said. "Hey" he told me. "Alrighty, scene is romantic but yet very sad" she told us. I was never great at acting, ugh why did I put my hand up.

"Um... Mrs. Hunt what are we suppose to really do ?" Hayden asked her. "Oh yes, yes ok, you two are suppose to be in love and suddenly the girl dies" she told us. "Wait so like Romeo and Juliet but instead the girl dies ?" Hayden asked. 

"Yes ex-actually like that" she said. "Ok" I said. Everyone stared. I was so nervous, I wasn't into this drama class. I didn't even know Hayden was in it. Hayden was the same cute guy from my Spanish class. 

Hayden was looking very cute today, was wearing a grey baseball shirt and dark blue jeans with white/black converse shoes, and of course his hair was all messy again. I didn't know what made him look so cute wearing whatever he wore. It was like I was attracted to his clothes. 

"I finally realized how much I really love you" he said. "What ?" I asked surprised. "I'm doing our scene" he told me. "Oh right" I said. "and I, my heart yearns just for you" I said. Hayden stepped closer to me and stopped in front of me. 

"The first time I laid my eyes on you I knew I wanted to love you for the rest of my life" he said. "I didn't want to fall in love with you, not at all. But at just some point you smiled and holy crap I blew it"I said. Hayden then suddenly took my hands in his, my heart was racing so fast.

Wow... I couldn't even think after that, I tried to back away, it nearly felt so real. But I knew it didn't we were just acting out this all. 

I stared up into his blue eyes, but then remembered I had to die in our scene. "I just want you to know that when I picture myself happy. It's with you, you...make me happy" I said getting a little teary eyed. "Don't say that, everything will be alright" he said as he moved his hands to my face.

His hands were cupping my cheeks, he inched closer, I had to fake fall now. I dropped onto the floor and Hayden dropped to his knee's next to me. "No !" he said. "It hurts" I stuttered. He slightly scooped me into his arms. 

"I won't let you go, I love you" he said sadly. "I'm afraid of falling" I told him. "I'll always catch you" he smiled. I myself felt tears rolling down my cheek but Hayden ran his finger over my cheek whipping it off. 

"If you go I go with you" he said. "You must stay and carry my love with you always" I told him. " It doesn't matter where I am, I'm yours" he said. Hayden leaned closer and his eyes looked sad, from the pressure of his hands, I could tell he was as nervous as I was. 

Especially when he leaned in, so very close I could smell the fresh breath mint scent coming from his breath, I knew this would never happen again. I couldn't stop my heart from pounding  so fast in my chest. My cheeks felt so warm, I felt his soft lips on mine. 

My eyes were closed but afterwards he backed up a tad. I had to keep them closed til the scene was over. "Bravo bravo that was the most beautiful scene's ever. Pure beauty and tons of sadness" Mrs. Hunt clapped and whipped her face, everyone started clapping. 

I sat up, I felt so flustered from that kiss. Hayden pulled me up onto my feet, "you did... a great job" I told him though I was speechless.  "Yeah... and you did great too" he said scratching his head. I wondered if he felt flustered as well. The bell rang "class dismiss" Mrs. Hunt said. 

Everyone piled out fast, Mrs. Hunt left the theater room. "So..." I said still flustered, my cheeks were flushed and felt very warm. "I should... you know... get going" he said rocking on his heels. "Yeah... same here" I said now feeling embarrassed. 

He smiled then walked down the steps and left the room. I sighed knowing just from one kiss from him seemed really perfect. "What am I thinking ! Ugh " I said out loud. I started pacing the floor, even how hard I tried and tried, that kiss re played over and over. 

Crossing my arms over my chest, and chewing on my lip, I did a lot of chewing on my lip when thinking very hard. I know a really bad habit. "Ugh...how stupid can I really be ? I've got to stop thinking about it. Dammit !" I said as I pressed my hands onto the wall and punched it.

"Um...are you ok Mona ?" "Uh... um I'm ok" I twirled around to see Hayden standing below. He tilted his head, "I'm not really sure you're ok, only cause you just hit a wall" he said picking up his bag. I chewed on my lip again, then heard him walk over towards me. 

"You shouldn't chew on your lip really" he said standing to the right of me. "Yeah I know" I said dropping my hands. "Hey tell me what's on your mind ?" he asked. I glanced in a different direction then back at him. 

"You don't want to listen to it, it's nothing" I said then grabbed my bag and turned to leave. "Mona" he stepped in front of me. I chewed my lip again, my heart was racing again. "Mona tell me" he said. "I can't" I said holding back the tears. 

I inhaled air and held it, I was really trying to hold it in, I could feel the tears building up at the corner's of my eyes, trying to escape. I swallowed hard. "Mona was it that kiss ?" he asked. I swallowed again really feeling the tears wanting to descend down my face. 

I sniffled "I..." I was afraid and sad. I then felt the tears rolling slowly down my cheeks and onto the side of my mouth. "Oh..." he then noticed. "It's my fault, sorry" I said and moved to go around him, walking down the steps and headed towards the door. 

Before I could even grab the knob "Mona" Hayden said behind me. "Please" I said as I gripped the knob. "I didn't know, you felt that way about it, please let me make it up to you. Please ?" he asked. I glanced down at the floor, I was trembling. 

"I know how to make it up to you" he said placing his hand on my arm. I stared at his hand that was on my arm, I chewed on my lip "what ?" my voice was soft. "This" he said as he stepped closer and again I felt his lips on mine. 

I heard his backpack fall to the ground, then I felt his fingers gently glide over my neck and jaw, his fingers were cold. It seriously felt more passionate then the other kiss we just shared. Backing up, his cold fingers remained on my face as I opened my eyes. 

"I...I should get going" I told him. I felt his thumb creating small circles next to my lip, "yeah I should too" he said. I stared up into his beautiful blue eyes, Biting my lip again "you do seriously need to stop biting your lip" he said. "Why, I bite when I get nervous" I told him. 

"Maybe it turns me on a little" he said. As I licked my lip, I glanced down at his lips. They were very soft, how did he have such soft lips ? "How is it that you have...soft lips ?" I asked backing up more creating a big gap. 

He laughed, "I wear chap-stick that's why" he said. "Oh ok" I reached for the knob again. "Mona" he said. I turned my head back at him "yeah ?" I asked. "I was sorta wondering if... I could take you to lunch ?" he asked as he shifted his backpack onto his shoulder. 

Was he asking me out ? On a date ? He pressed his lips together, "um... yeah" I said smiling. "Really ? "a smile was forming. "Yes " I told him. "Great, I'll plan a day then" he told me. "Alright" I said. Was it a date ? I didn't know. It was killing me to know.