You Are Beautiful To Me ~Frerard AU~

People Don't Always Change Their Ways

(Trigger warning: Self harm, Homophobia)

Frank's Pov:

I'm surprised my dad didn't give us a lot of shit... only very little shit. Before we had left my dad seemed more accepting but I honestly don't think he is. He's always had this cookie cutter shape of what he wants me to be and he's always been so excited when I had a girl over but was so upset to find out that they already had a boyfriend and we were actually up in my room playing dress up with Gerard. That was all back when we were in 5th grade and early into 6th grade. My mom didn't mind she was actually very happy that I wanted to express myself through clothes, hair, makeup, and my sexual orientation but my dad... he always had a problem, the amount of times he went away on business trips to get away from me is countless and he eventually started taking my mom with him because she thought he was cheating on her, which I know he was I saw the many emails and text messages he got from various women all around the world. I spent most of my days home alone or spending countless nights with Gerard that Gerard's parents are basically mine. When we got back to our apartment I noticed that I got a text from my dad, and as I expected it wasn't a very nice one. It read: 'you are so lucky your mother was there with us when you told us that horrible news, I honestly don't know how we fucked up raising you to the point where you like dicks in your ass. The attitude you pulled earlier was uncalled for. It's bad enough you are a faggot but being a faggot with an attitude it probably the worst. Maybe one day you will realize the huge mistake you have made by marrying a guy. You never meant anything to me and I don't want to see your face again until you change your disgusting ways.' I felt my heart drop, here is the guy that is supposed to love and care for me and the man who is supposed to be an influence to me, telling me that I am a failure and that he doesn't love me. I run to the guest bedroom and I lock myself in, silent tears stream down my face and I can hear Gerard outside the door. He sounds so worried and my heart breaks more, I bury my face into the pillows on the bed and I sob violently. Gerard pounds on the door, seeming so worried. I get up and I go to the guest bathroom that was connected to the guest bedroom. I pull out the extra razors we keep in there for a number of different reasons, but what I was thinking about doing was definitely not one of the intended uses we kept them there for. I take one of the shiny blades in my hand and I look at it remembering that the last time I did this was in the 7th grade and I had promised Gerard I wouldn't do it again because it hurt him to see me hurt. Right now I wasn't rational and nothing else mattered to me besides feeling ok again. I roll up the sleeves of my sweatshirt and I make a small cut on my wrist. It sting but it honestly felt so good, I make a few more before running cool water over them, washing the blood away. I move from my wrists to my thighs and I make a few small cuts on my leg, but I heard Gerard's pleas and cries for me and it hurt more than anything so I quickly put the blades away and hide the evidence before going to open the door to reveal a very distressed and sad looking Gerard.
"Frankie what's wrong baby?"
I don't even answer him with words I just hand him the phone and he reads the message that was left open. I don't even get a proper response from Gerard, all I get is a tight hug, but when I hug him back the cuts I made on my wrist start stinging and I wince. Gerard pulls away and looks at me.
"Frankie are you ok?" I shrug in response. He pulls at my hands and rolls up my sleeves and looks at me hurt.
"I...I'm sorry Gee... I'm so sorry... I wasn't thinking, I'm so so sorry... please don't hate me" I sob.
He pulls me into a tight hug and I weakly hug back. "there's some on my legs too..." I say quietly into his chest and he hugs me tighter.
"My poor handsome prince, I'm so sorry that he hurt you enough to make you scar your beautiful skin. You are my angel and you mean the world to me Frankie. You are what has kept me grounded and now I want to be here for you to keep you grounded." He says before kissing my cheek and I just melt in his arms. He picks me up and carries me bridal style to our room and I feel so vulnerable, so weak. I bury my face into his shoulder clinging to him like a small child would. He sits on the edge of the bed with me, gently swaying and humming to me softly I cry softly into his shoulder before passing out.

Gerard's Pov:

When he ran to the guest room I knew something was wrong, so I followed close behind. As soon as he locked the door that's when I knew what he might do, and when I hugged him and he winced I then knew that he had self harmed. When he handed me the phone to read I didn't even to read what it had said to know that it was his father and when I read it I instantly knew why he was hurt so bad. When I was carrying him to our room and he was clinging to me he looked so fragile and hurt. When he passed out I laid down with him, I held him close to me, feeling his heart beat and hearing the shallow breaths he took. It reminded me of when I used to self harm, this must have been how Frank felt when he helped me. I remember he used to self harm in the 7th grade but we were young then and my feelings for him weren't as strong as they were as they are now. When I was in 7th grade I barely knew I was gay so when Frankie was self harming all I felt was a sense of needing to be there to support him, now I feel I need to help mend him. When I was self harming it was in 9th grade, and I remember how sad Frank looked when he knew I was harming myself and now I understand why he looked so sad. It's one of the hardest things to see your love and your life look hurt and seem like their world is falling out from under them. It's in these times we really see how much we really love someone. Frank shifts slightly in his sleep. I continue humming softly to him and he calms down, his breathing evening out and I know that he is fully asleep. I look at his face and I admire how peaceful he looks but in that peacefulness he looks so distraught and sad. I feel my heart break, but I feel like I've fallen more in love with Frank. After awhile I myself fall asleep.

(A/N: 2 things so first Please do not self harm guys, if you ever need anyone to talk to please reach out to someone, Im always here for anyone who needs to talk and second this is a very random update because I usually like updating on the weekends but I had an idea so here it is)