Re-writing Destiny

IX

Sinag wanted to hide under the covers due to embarrassment. They are talking about her virginity as if she's not there. Hello!! Andito lang ako!

But she saw how Benjie's shoulders slumped and the obvious disappointment on his face. Hala! Bakit ba ineexpect nya talaga na buntis ako? Wala nga kaming maalala tapos ngayon confirmed na wala talagang nangyari nung gabing yon.

She waited at the hospital entrance as Benjie went to get the car. She honestly do not know what to say to him. He's been very quiet. Once inside the car, he drove silently.

"Benjie, can we talk? Why don't you talk to me?"

"I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."

"Look, I'm sorry I'm not pregnant, ok? But isn't that good news? Now we know wala talagang nangyari sa atin. Now we know for sure."

He pulled over by the curb, she watched how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. He gave a deep sigh before starting.

"Good news? Not having my baby is good news to you? Sinag, I wanted you to be pregnant, I need you to be pregnant!" He said forcefully, she thought he was angry, but he was really upset! His eyes are brimming with tears.

"Benjie, our problems will not magically disappear if I get pregnant. Hindi makakatulong sa atin pareho yon! Please! Think about it."

"Can't you see? It will be easier to accept US if we have a baby, no one can turn away a baby. Kahit sinong matigas ang puso will accept their grandchild." He said adamantly.

"There's a better way, Benjie. Just give it time. Mapapatawad ka din ni Tatay, maaayos din gusot ng pamilya natin. There's no shortcuts to our problems pero alam ko may solusyon."

"I just want to be with you, Sinag! Ayoko nang magtago. Gusto ko pumunta sa bahay nyo na parang normal na tao. I just want your family to accept me." He said resignedly as his voice broke.

Now his tears are starting to fall freely, unashamedly, Sinag can't help but cry with him. She turned and kissed his forehead tenderly, wrapping her arms around him protectively as he leaned onto her. Then she rested her forehead to his, wiping his tears away.

"I'm sorry! I wish I can think of something better to say. Or do something para mabago ang sitwasyon natin."

"Please don't turn me away now that you're not pregnant. Ganon pa rin tayo ha? Kakausapin mo pa rin ako?"

"Oo naman! Pinatawad na kita, Benjie. And these past days, napatunayan mo sa akin that you're serious about earning our forgiveness."

"Salamat! Pero seryoso ako, I want to go to your house, gusto kitang ligawan the right way. I don't like it that we're sneaking behind your parents' backs na parang may ginagawa tayong masama. I want to do everything right this time."

Hindi man nya inaamin, kahit kay Ninay, or kahit sa sarili nya, she knows she never got over Benjie. It felt so right at that time. She's been wondering if she'll ever feel the same kind of love, or if she'll ever meet someone and feel the same way..

Hearing Benjie say all these, somehow something clicked inside her head. As if everything fell to the right place. She no longer wants to deny even to herself what she feels. What she has been feeling for a long time now.

She never stopped loving Benjie. She fell for him in Pelangi, and though he broke her heart into tiny, little pieces, she never stopped loving him. She's been hurt beyond anything she felt before but it didn't change the fact that she's in love with him. Though she dared not hope that it will ever be reciprocated.