Thoughts to Poetry

Fighting

Fighting for my life.

Every day is a challenge for me, cuz every day I always think of killing myself.

Every new morning is nonsense for me, cuz every morning I just realize how unworthy I am.

Every evening is the hardest for me, cuz every minute of that evening I feel like I'm dying.

Every time I think of killing myself I always think those people who will cry when I'm dead, but when I think of them I ended up harming myself.

cuz every time, every day, every eve, every morning I think of killing myself.

cuz they always say I'm not worthy of this life anymore, I'm not living anymore.

I'm not me anymore, I'm not the person you know anymore.

cuz I think of killing myself.

and now here I am again on the balcony where I can see the gloomy sky like on a gloomy Sunday.

here I am again on this page of my life where I'm stuck forever.

here I am again thinking about those days where I'm still me.

here I am again repeating those words that can result in harming my own life.

here.. I am.. again..

but here I am.

I'm not dead yet.

I'm not there yet.

I'm not sleeping yet.

I'm still breathing.

I'm still thinking.

I'm still crying.

I'm still begging for someone.

cuz I just need someone who can understand what I feel.

someone who I can lean on.

someone who will listen to my regrets.

someone who will be my companion.

someone...

can someone understand what I feel??

can someone be my medicine??

can someone help me?

can someone??

I think this is enough cuz I'm bleeding outside.. and inside.. again.

sincerely yours,

-ColdWeeknd