JUAN

Racist Cena

Juan woke up dazed and confused, like a wild animal forcibly injected with liquid cocaine.

"Mami? Sexy Beast? Where am I?" he asked to the empty room. Not surprisingly, no one responded. Then the events from the previous day came rushing back to him. He checked the clock and it was 8 am. The perfect breakfast time.

He exited the room and looked down the marble hallways. There was a staircase at one end so he walked down it and found himself in the lobby that he had entered the previous day. Mr. Cena was seated on the couch drinking a steaming cup of Joseph.

"Juan! How was your first night at Taco Bell Manor?" asked John.

"That's what this place is called? Taco Bell Manor?" asked Juan. "It was great."

"Well we change the name whenever a new guest stays here and since we figured that your family is Mexican and Taco Bell is the most authentic Mexican food there is, we had practically no choice but to call the place Taco Bell Manor!"

"Wait that's a little... racist..? Anyways, do you have any gluten free vegan waffles?"

"As a matter of fact we do! They're brand new. I told management we wouldn't be needing them because all you ate was tacos but I guess I was wrong. I wonder what else I'll learn today!"

"Yeah I'm just gonna go get my waffles now..." replied Juan as he awkwardly scooted into the kitchen.

The kitchen was huge and there was a personal chef at the oven. He also looked to be Mexican.

"You must be Juan! What would you like for breakfast this morning?" asked the kind old chef.

"I'll take a waffle please. What's your name?" asked Juan

"One gluten free vegan waffle coming up." Winked the chef. "My name is Esteban. I've been the chef at this Manor for the last 35 years."

"Well hello Esteban. Pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Oh please, Estaban was my father.  Call me jElly."

"Jelly?"

"No, jElly."

"Got it... Did you hear Mr.Cena being racist out there? He thinks all Mexicans eat are tacos."

"Yep, he does that alot. Our last guests were African American and he thought all they ate was fried chicken."

"That's outrageous! We need to do something about it!"

"We can't. He's the boss."

"He's not my boss. We need to fight against racism in this country and I think a good first step would be taking out John Cena."

"Take him out? Don't you think that's a little extreme?"

"Not like in a sniper way. In a date way. We'll set him up with a Mexican woman and he'll see what we're really like."

"Hm... sounds like a plan. But how do we do it?" asked Esteban.

"Don't worry amigo. I have a plan." Juan stared into the rising sun and a bald eagle flew by.

Juan walked over to John Cena who was still sitting on the couch.

"Hey Juan, what's up man?"

"Nothing much. I was wondering, do you have a girlfriend?"

"Well not right now. Jamillicus just broke up with me 2 weeks ago."

"Oh well then I've got some exciting news for you! I can set you up with a hot chica."

"Yo that sounds great. What's her name?"

"Emily. She looks a little bit like a guy though so don't be alarmed. I'll set you up on a date tonight at a fancy restaurant. Be ready."

"Cool. I gotta go but thanks Juan."

Juan walked back to the kitchen to a confused looking Esteban.

"Who's Emily? And how do you know she'll go on a date with Cena?"

"Well she is actually my friend Emilio and I'm not sure if he wants to go but I'm going to force him. He owes me."

"For what?"

"Oh, just that time back in '86..."

"Uh ok. You still want this waffle?"

"No, thanks though. I have some calls to make. Thanks jElly."

"No problem. Good luck."