It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon when Juan's mother called. She seemed particularly excited on this day and Juan had to ask her to calm down.
"JUAN ME BOOTY I HAVE NEWS!" shouted Juan's mother, Mariana.
"¿Que mamá? Speak slower please. You know I can't understand anything since my cell mate shoved a nail in my ear while I was sleeping." replied Juan.
"OH BUT JUANNNNNN YOU'RE GOING TO MEET SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL TODAY!"
"Who mamá? Is it Salvador? That little hot dog stole the prison taco I made with ingredients from the general store."
"NOOOO JUAN. I must tell you. It is your father! Although I prefer you call him daddy because that is what I call him."
"I have a father? You always said I was born through asexual reproduction."
"Juan I am a liar, you know this. Your papa is getting released from super max prison tomorrow!"
"What did he do?"
"Oh he was just a cereal killer. Minor crime. He only killed Cheerios I think."
"No mamá! I cannot meet a Cheerio killer!"
"He is clean now Juan. Hasn't touched a Cheerio in 23 years."
"No, I have to go."
Juan hangs up the phone and hyperventilates for a few seconds. Then he walks into his closet to get his signature outfit. His JUAN SUIT.
"JUSTICE AND CHEERIO FREEDOM SHALL BE SERVED!" he shouted.
He ran out of the house and stopped halfway down the steps because he had a big burrito for lunch. Limping the rest of the way, he reached the bottom floor and ran out to do what he was born to do...
Find out more on our next installment of JUAN.
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JUAN
SpiritüelRead as the incredible Juan partakes in adventure after adventure to escape his mortal enemy. Not for children under the age of 12 because Juan doesn't like you.
