Road Trip

21- He's Got A Dig Bick

"Ladies and Niall, we have arrived at the cinema." Harry announced, as he pulled into the packed parking lot.

"Yay! Finally!" TJ exclaimed, clapping her hands excitedly.

"Just in time too," Jessica added, glancing at the time on her phone. "It's about to start."

"Don't speak too soon," Harry said, circling around the parking lot for the third time. "This place is packed. I doubt we'll find a space in time."

"Why don't you just drop me and TJ off at the front, and we'll buy the tickets while y'all find a spot." Jessica offered.

Harry nodded in agreement. He reached into his back pocket and dug his worn leather wallet.

"I will never understand how you manage to fit anything in those skin tight jeans." TJ said in disbelief.

"For real though." Jessica agreed. "Like imagine trying to fit a penis in there! Most girls can't even keep their vaginas in their pants, but Harry can manage to keep his dick there!"

TJ shook her head sadly. "RIP Harry's penis. You were gone too soon."

"Death by asphyxiation. What a terrible way to go." Jessica agreed.

"The odds were not in his favor." TJ added.

"You do realize that I am still in the vehicle, correct?" Harry asked incredulously. Niall erupted in boisterous laughter.

The girls blinked at him. "So?" TJ asked.

"Your point is?" Jessica added.

"Well, I would much rather prefer that you didn't speak of my wiggly bits as if I'm not here!" Harry exclaimed.

"Would you rather us do it behind your back?" Jessica asked incredulously. "Cause that's just rude and hurtful."

"Seriously Harry, we are nice, well to do southern belles who were raised with manners for for a Queen." TJ said in disgust. "And the fact that you want us to go against our nature, well-"

"-that's just asking for pigs to fly." Jessica finished. "You should be grateful that you have people like us in your life."

"What? Are you-? WHAT?" Harry stuttered in disbelief.

"Come on TJ, I can tell when our presence is no longer wanted." Jessica said in a huff. "And we don't want your stinking money Styles, so keep it in your pants, along with your hidden penis!" Jessica added as the two jumped out of the jeep and slammed the door shut.

"What the hell just happened?" Harry asked, staring after the girls, wide eyed, mouth agape.

"Well, they started talking about yer manhood and then they got offended and now you might have to apologize." Niall explained, in between laughter.

Harry shook his head, confused. "Girls. I think I have a migraine."

Niall clapped him on the back. "S'okay mate. Just buy them some candy and popcorn and all is forgiven. Now let's find a parking spot."

***

"And the Oscar Award goes to TJ and Jessica for their amazing acting skills!" TJ announced dramatically.

Jessica laughed. "That was so funny! Harry looked like he was about to shit his pants!"

"His very tight pants." TJ said in mock seriousness.

"In which he hides his penis in." Jessica added.

TJ stopped walking, tugging Jessica to a stop as well.

"What?" Jessica asked.

"In all seriousness, how big do you think he is?" TJ whispered in a hushed tone.

Jessica made a slight choking noise. "Excuse me?"

"How big or small, you never know anymore especially with those pants, do you think Harry is?" TJ asked again.

"TJ! I don't know! And frankly, I don't care! I have a boyfriend, remember?" Jessica sputter indignantly.

TJ rolled her eyes and continued walking. "I'm only curious, and don't play innocent, I've seen you stare more than a few times."

"Have not!" Jessica exclaimed.

TJ snorted. "Bitch please, you stare harder than anyone I know. Now how big do you think he is?"

Jessica shook her head. "I'm not doing this."

"Oh stop being a prude. Now guess!"

"Fine! Maybe seven or eight?"

"Wow, you must have studied his crotch for a long time to get that estimate." TJ whistled impressively.

"Not that long." Jessica mumbled defensively. "What was your guess."

TJ shrugged, five or six. Maybe seven on a good day."

"I'm offended for him! That has got to be the worst guess in the entire world!" Jessica gasped.

"Well sorry for not foaming at the mouth just to stare at his package!" TJ said loudly, causing two elderly women to turn and stare at them.

"TJ shut the hell up!" Jessica hissed, attempting to cover her face.

"Who cares? It's a free country! They act like they've never been boned before." TJ rolled her eyes at them before laughing at her own joke.

"You shouldn't be allowed in the general public." Jessica said, horrified.

"Aww, thanks bae." TJ said before flipping her off.

The girls approached the ticket booth and purchased four tickets to the midnight premiere of Divergent.

"Alright, let's go wait inside for the boys."

**Author's Note:

Yay for double updates!!!! Enjoy this chapter hahaha I laughed the entire time writing it so I hope you laugh too (: lemme know whatcha think and please please please keep voting! Btw I don't mind if you promote my story just so long as you ask for permission first please and thank you (: love you all stay amazballs xxx

(How big do y'all think Harry's package is? Hahaha ;) )))) xxxx