Fervid Desire (Good Pleasure Series #2)

Kabanata 6

Kabanata 6

"Are you sure you can face them?" Zach asked me for another time.

I just shrugged. I wasn't yet ready but I need to face them. It was inevitable because first of all, where should I go to sleep? I won't ever ask for my friends' refuge. Lilia was out of town— she flew to New York last night and she did not attend the graduation ceremony. Kia was for sure with her Family, celebrating her day.

I belched as I hovered my hand and wavered if I would really step on my pad. Gosh, go on! I shouted to myself mentally. I looked at Zach who was looking at me, worry was so palpable through his eyes. I don't know if he was just being oblivion about what I was— I was tough, I can handle what ever it was. This was just a small derogation with my Father. I would prefer myself looking at my Father's full of derision eyes— or maybe he was now furious.

"I need to face them now," I said as I sighed. I spun on my heels and I was about to clutch at my doorknob but Zach coiled his hand on my wrist.

"Remember, I'm just in my room. I'll wait." he whispered and squeezed my hand.

I smiled— now, I found the valor within myself, "I will run if I can't take it anymore. I will run to you, Zach."

He smiled, "Yeah. Run to me, baby. Because that is what you should really do."

I nodded and turned my back to him. I wrenched the door and it creaked to open. I slowly shoved it. The slow movement of the door made my heart leap out of my chest. I craned my head at Zach and he was now looking at me with serious eyes. I bit my lower lip as I finally got myself in and I closed back the door. I carefully stepped on the floor and I recoiled when I saw my Father, menacingly looking at me with a disappointment inflicted to his eyes.

I rummaged the area. Mom was seating next to him while Carmi nestled at the right side of my Mother. Her boyfriend was at the kitchen— probably giving us a time— Family time to be alone. My heart constricted as I slowly walked toward them. I swallowed as I tried to dislodge the lump on my throat. The feeling of safety at my condo unit just evaporated and turned into a very dangerous one because it was already invaded by my enemy. The harbor was now a deadly place for me.

The valor I had awhile just faded. I need to run out of here and go to Zach! I need him this time— I need the embrace of safety through his arms. But while I was looking at my stifled Father, my feet rooted at the ground I was standing onto. My Father stood up with his feet with authority and I almost collapsed because of hysteria. I saw my Mother who was trying to thwart my Father but she has nothing to do with the flaming rage of him.

"Camisone, wala ka na bang kayang ibigay sa ating pamilya kundi ang kahihiyan?!" he shout and I closed my eyes.

I cowered, afraid that I might get a slap from him, "S-sorry..."

"Sorry? Are you really that stupid?! Bakit hindi ka pumunta sa graduation mo? Isa kang malaking kahihiyan sa pamilya—"

"Altros, stop it—"

He looked at my Mother, "Tumahimik ka rin! Iyan kasi! Masyado mong kinukunsinti itong anak mo!"

I looked at my sister whose immobile. She was only looking at me with a pity on her eyes. I don't need that! I need a person to protect me from any of this kind of pain! I wanted to shout at them because they were all inept— they have no ability to fight to my Father, to protect me because they were all fucking scared.

My Father's eyes bore at me again. The anger was dripping like acid through the holed container. When he backed his eyes to me, I immediately cowered. Please don't hurt me, I begged mentally as I clutched at my dress. I wheezed and the tears I was restraining to flow, flowed.