Fervid Desire (Good Pleasure Series #2)

Kabanata 40

Kabanata 40

Philippines. I was stunned of what he said. I don't know what to say. Torrent thoughts just flooded my mind with so much intensity. I want to act as if I had not heard it clear howbeit Alec was certain he made his voice clear. The monsters inside me riled like they had heard something that could ravage the cage they were into for some years. I can't also deny the fast beats of my heart as if it wanted to get out of me. I tried to feign that I was okay, that the news did not stir the tranquil life I was having in here.

Was it right to get back in that country? He was engaged and promise, I would only do there was to rant and wail for the loss. Such a wretched damsel unhinged by the dirtbags. But then, I couldn't just neglect the upcoming Fashion Week just to salvage my ass from breaking. They were the ones who had done bad to me, so I should not be frightened by them, I should be the one who has the grudge.

Maybe, it was the right time to get back in the place where I had gone enough of pain that I feel it was already suicidal. Para akong bumabalik sa lahat ng sakit pagakarinig ko sa kanyang sinabi. As what I remember, I was just joking to my Father about my abandoned position on his company and if it was still available for me. And now, seemed like I was really going back to the land I had been raised.

I can do it, it was just a cinch. I will just show them how I changed because of the pain they impaled to me. I was okay, I just need much time but if it was imminent, then I can use a facade of stout woman. Besides, being in the Philippines doesn't mean I was going to see him. He has his own business— perhaps preparing for his upcoming wedding?

"Are you okay, Cami?" Alec asked because of my sudden idleness.

I stirred and tried to act normal, "Y-yeah. It was just, I was shocked. This was abrupt memo. I thought everything was already settled,"

He sighed and shook his head. He took out a portfolio of his drawer and plummeted to the table. Giving me a proof that all preparations were futile because of the sudden change of location.

"I also thought. Though even our efforts had gone nothing, we can't do anything about this."

"So, we will fly next month to the Philippines?" I asked.

"No. We have to have our early flight. Perhaps next week for the preparation. And also we should visit our branch there."

I was stunned by what he said. So, we will probably get back to the Philippines next week? And fuck, do I look ready to face the people who perceived me as a woman without dignity and just a quean. I know, they have the right to judge me by what I did but can I stand if the people that had known me for being a good designer without a degraded reputation will know what I was before? About Alec, what will he think of me if he learns about it? Papa made sure that the video won't be televised by different TV stations and deleted the video in all websites but he can't brainwash the people who laughed and mocked me because of that scandal.

I could picture the faces of the people who knew what I was when I already back in that country. But I realized that even you tried hard to escape all the problems, you can't rid off the fact that they were just there, waiting. Running was the way of some people especially poltroons to feel the safety harbor without those complications of their lives howbeit the reality was, those problems that you were trying to run away had never left you.

And now, facing my problem was imminent. In just days by now, my foot was already stood on the ground of that country with a trembling knees and anxiousness that was incessant in all parts of my body. I have my family, I told to myself and belched as I tried not to be taut.

Alec looked at me but the way he scanned my expression, I know he was trying to decipher what was on my mind. Afraid of being caught, I eluded my eyes and ducked my head. Alec only knows some fact about me and I hadn't had the courage to tell what I had been through in that country. Maybe he was perplexed of what my expression was and he thought that the news will elate me but of what the way I react, it wasn't.