Fervid Desire (Good Pleasure Series #2)

Kabanata 28

Kabanata 28

It was hard.

It was been 2 weeks since I left Zach in his unit. We made love for how many times at that night and I made sure that he was too exhausted to get awoken.

I wasn't stupid that when I left, I'd go to my pad. No. I asked Papa if he wants me to live with them and thankfully he wanted me so badly. I was morose, and I don't know how to feign that I was happy even I was already in deepest shit. This was more that I'd felt when I ascertained that Drook was fooling me with Lilia.

Of course, I love Zach more that anyone else, I was broken because of the fervent feelings towards him.

Every steps that I was making when I was leaving the condominium unit, my heart was slowing shredding by the poisonous dagger of pain. I also had a qualm if I'd just continue my plan or just go and run to him and hug him tight. But no, I want to learn. My mistake was that I let my desire to rein all over my system, I'd become impulsive, I did not think of the consequences of my action. I fooled someone, I was fooled by someone. Well, karma is a bitch.

I also changed number. I already cut all our possible connection. I also deactivated my accounts. In 2 weeks I'd been living in my Father's place, I just only stuck myself in my room and do nothing but cry. Maybe I was already demented, I hadn't had the appetite to eat. So this is the feeling of a broken hearted, I told to myself.

It was hard to adjust, I'd been with Zach for years and I miss all the things we had shared— not only on bed but also in a little things we had everyday. Like him, cooking food for us, his little way of showing vulgarity. I miss him so much but I need to restrain myself. I covet Zach... so much. But I don't know if he feels the same. After all, I was just his fuck buddy. He can go and find another if he wants. Girls would flock to his feet when they know that he needs someone that will heat his bed.

He doesn't want a commitment, that was it. I know he had relationships with other girls but it was just a play. He can flirt with other girls even his present was looking at him. He was an asshole, but fuck, I fell for that asshole in a deepest void of hopelessness. I was vulnerable in the dark abyss of heart break but I need to stay in here even it was already killing me.

I plunged myself on the bed and it sagged a little bit. I closed my eyes but after a seconds I opened it and see the ceiling right in front of me. The little chandelier embellished with little bids of crystals was adorned onto it. It was a very good start but I have no idea what was the exact meaning of a good start when I was like mourning in here, hiding my ass not to get caught by Zach. Or was he looking for me?

In this world, you really can't get all the things you wanted to have, if you kept on yearning for that thing you will end up broken by your own expectations. I wished life can be as easy as breathing, but no, you need to cry and take a risk— but still no assurance to get what you want. If life wasn't difficult as it was, maybe people won't be this bad and broken.

I fiddled with my hair while I was contemplating incoherent issues in my mind. Sighing, I leaped out from bed again and ambled to the bathroom, I need to take a bath before getting out for lunch. Kia just called me that she'll visit me later.

Well, Kia was still oblivious about what happened to me and Lilia. I was not being bitter or something but I still can't forgive Lilia right now. Like hello, she bedded my suitor, she just betrayed me even I was not in a relationship with Drook. But also, I was thankful that I had found out this early or else I'd choose a wrong man, a man that feigns a good boy while in fact, he was a totally dick fucking asshole.

As I twisted the shower on, the cold water doused all over my body that I shivered. The water was good yet remind me of something, Zach. We had lots of sexcapades and every corner of the house even though he hadn't done it here it still fucking muddling my head like an annoying bug trying to get inside my ears.