Fervid Desire (Good Pleasure Series #2)

Kabanata 26

Kabanata 26

I was morose. My face was totally showing a very livid expression. I wanted to slap him hard, to make him feel how he'd hurt me for being such a liar. He denied that he was already in a relationship with Ritz! He just made me believe on his lies.

But I know, despite the anticipation to slap him, I had to restrain myself because, why would I do that? I had no enough reason to whack him or even hurt him. He did not do anything that unlawful. He just lie, but I have no right to show that I was totally hurt. Fuck, my life was a complete bafflement. I don't know what should I do.

I eyed him vehemently whilst he was looking at me perplexedly. I almost imagined his query twirling atop his head. I bit my lower lip when I felt my tears well up on my eyes, I evaded my eyes immediately. I don't know why he was still continuing his deceiving bewildered actions. Oh, stop you asshole. I already know that you were with that bitch, don't act as if you were oblivious about this.

I have to act as if there was no problem but I can't help it, I was to reined by wrath and spleen. I asked him if there was something going on between him and that girl, but what did he say? He just told me the answer that, I don't want to lie, I want but I would gladly accept if he did just tell me the fact, even though it will hurt me.

In this relationship, we should not stick ourselves into each other's life outside the bed. I should've not felt this evil feeling— envy and jealousy. Because those feelings were given by a demon ready to devour your soul once the two engulfed your whole entity. Such a bad feeling but the whole world were nescience that they were already filled with envious and jealousy toward the people around them. I am just a human though it was inevitable to feel the surge of jealousy to roll over my system. And I hate myself for being such a weak in terms of that.

This world has been so unfair to me. From neonate up to now, the world has been so hard to me. But I have to be tough, I know that this was just a trial that I need to pass, that I need to accomplish. And Zach? He was the man that taught me how to fight, to be tough. He helped me a lot of things, if he didn't show up in the dance floor way back when I was still sixteen, I would have killed myself a long time ago because of the feeling of aloneness.

I thought, I won't fall for a guy like him. He was vulgar, a horny-dog, and looks so dangerous. A playboy that even girls know he was like that, they were still willing to be his girlfriend because like me, they hoped that maybe in the time that they were together, Zach would learn to love them. Fuck, that hope gave a heartbreak to every woman of Zach— including myself of course.

I looked at him once again, the steam of lividity reached my gut that I almost pushed him away just so I can breath and cast a tears that I hardly restrained not to fall. I know, I should not let this wrath to subdue all over my system.

"Baby, what's wrong?" he said, his voice was soothingly calm— as if there was no problem that he was trying to hide.

I tightly squeezed my eyes shut, the anger that I was casting to him was so palpable.

"I... I'm on period. Please, don't make it worst!" I lied.

His jaw clenched and tried to reach my elbow once again, "You are lying. Baby, please tell me what's wrong—"

Fuck, I know he won't able to buy my lame excuse because he has my daily calendar application. He knows the time of the month but I still tried to pull that excuse, and I failed.

"Please, Zach, just leave."

"Tell me first what's wrong. Do we have a problem, Blair?"

"Y-yes..." I stood erectly.