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I sat on my bed biting my nails. I didn't even bother with getting any food. After the nice girl helped me and gave me a tissue, I walked straight out of McDonald's and went back home. I wished more than anything that I was back in Luton with my dad. Life was so sweet then. I could just forget everything.
Forget it
Forget them.
Forget him.
I sighed and lay back, bringing up my knees and hugging them close. My mind drifted back to my past as I chewed on the almost non-existent nail on my thumb. I was the dumbest girl in the world. That boy gave me everything. He would walk through hell and back just for me if he had to and I threw that all away.
Because I was young, dumb and insatiable.
I wanted him all to myself and when I saw that I couldn't have that; I wanted revenge. If someone were to ask me today why I did what I did, I couldn't even give them answer. It all started over something so stupid and small as well but then it became addictive and everything escaladed and blew of out proportion.
I then thought back to when I first met him. If I could go back in time, I would change that day and make sure that it never happened.
But I can't.
Past.
I changed out of my school jumper, shirt and skirt, into my P.E kit. All the girls were in the changing rooms as the teachers waited by the door for us to get ready for the lesson. I slipped on my Nike shorts and the school's custom top before changing my black knee high socks for white ones.
"Come on girls!" Ms Charlton, our main P.E teacher shouted looking at her watch. "You know the drill. Get changed and ready in ten!"
"Shut up man," Rochelle muttered from beside me making me laugh. "She's always shouting. How about she creams them dry kneecaps of hers."
I shook my head at her as I re-tied my hair into a ponytail. This girl was not serious.
"So what's going on with you and Theo?"
I tried not to smile when I heard his name as I took a seat and shoved on my airforces. "What do you mean?" I tried the dumb act.
Rochelle rolled her eyes as she tied her laces. "Don't even try it. Has he made it official or not?"
I sighed and shrugged my shoulders lightly. "Not yet." She gave a slight pitiful look before she tried to re-lift the mood. "Don't worry, he will soon."
I just nodded my head and turned my attention back to my trainers. I've known Theodore since primary school and he's been my best friend since. However, recently things have been changing between us. We weren't kids anymore and we were slowly growing into young adults. My friendship towards him was slowly becoming sexual but it seemed one-sided.
He had already lost his virginity back in year 8 to some stank b*tch in the year above. I'm not gonna lie and say it didn't hurt me because it did. I had hoped that we would lose it to each other. But he obviously couldn't wait… Even since then, he's slept with how many girls? I stopped counting.
I did my last lace on my airforces before walking out of the changing rooms with everyone else in my class, into the hall. All the boys were already dressed and seated in a line leading to the back. Us girls formed our own line next to them. I spotted the boys in the squad at the back of the line sitting and laughing. Me, Rochelle, Stephanie and Jasmine sat in the girl's line opposite them. I smiled at Theo and he smiled back. He looked so good in his kit. The boy's uniform was dark blue, consisting of long sleeve blue tops and white shorts and white socks. Theo never wore his properly and his sleeves were always rolled up exposing his veiny arms, and his shorts always hung low showing his boxers and second pair of shorts underneath.
