I pushed all thoughts about Alex to the back of my head. He'd come back. He always did. Its not like he would sleep in Rian and Zack's room. We'd always shared a hotel room no matter how pissed off we were at eachother. All I knew was that I had to get some sleep. Concerts always take everything out of me and a fight with Alex on top of that? I was exhausted both physically and mentally.
I sighed as I threw the shirt and jeans I was wearing into my open suitcase and pulled on a pair of sweat pants and one of my JAGK shirts that was about 3 sizes too big. I had just turned the lights out and shuffled down into the bed when Alex came back into the room. Not wanting to engage in any further conversation with my best friend, I pulled the blanket over my head and pretended to be asleep. I heard Alex sigh as he shuffled around the room, probably getting his sleep clothes on, in the dark.
My muscles tensed when I felt my bed sink down under the weight of Alex. He just sat there, not saying anything, for a few minutes. I still had the blanket pulled over my head and was blinking back a new round of tears in the darkness. I felt his hand rest lightly on my side and I relaxed a little bit.
"I'm sorry for being a douche earlier, Jay,"He muttered just loud enough for me to hear.
With that, I stopped trying to hold back the tears and let out a choked sob. Alex pulled the blanket off my head and looked down at me as I rolled over on my back. Alex moved his hand to my chest and moved his thumb in slow circles over the fabric. The angry feelings that I was holding towards the older boy disappeared and I just wanted his arms around me.
I moved over to the other side of the bed, keeping my eyes on Alex. He seemed to take the hint and crawled under the covers beside me. I turned over on my side so that I was facing him as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to his chest. This was a normal thing for us. There have been many times that Alex and I would cuddle: on tour, at home, after a fight, or just for the hell of it. We have been doing this for as long as I could remember.
Alex's nose nuzzled in the crook of my neck and I felt his strong arms tighten around me. I burried my face in Alex's messy hair.
"Jack?"Alex murmered sleepily.
"Hmm?" I hummed as I drew small circles on Alex's back.
"Didn't you have something you wanted to tell me? You know, before we started arguing?"
I felt a lump rise in my throat. I coughed nervously. "Uh- yeah. Its not important though,"I whispered. 'IT IS SO IMPORTANT!!! JACK QUIT BEING SUCH A FUCKING PUSSY!!!! TELL HIM!!!!!!' Is what my heart was screaming but I just tried to ignore it.
"No, tell me,"Alex persisted. He was clearly walking the very thin line between being awake and sleep.
Fuck. No getting out of it now. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Once I got started the words just rolled off of my tongue. "Okay...well, Alex I have absolutely no fucking idea what I'm doing or how you're gonna react. Hell, I don't even know if I should tell you at all for the sake of this band. But this has been eating me alive for so fucking long and I just have to tell someone. It might as well be you. Alex, I'm in love wi-..." Alex's low snore cut me off.
'Are you fucking kidding me right now?! How much of that had Alex heard if he heard any of it?! So fucking close and yet so fucking far.' I thought, rolling my eyes. Why the hell is it so hard to tell my best friend I'm in love with him?!
With that, I decided to surrender myself to sleep.
"Alex, I'm in love with you. I have been for such a long time and I just can't take it anymore! I love you as more than a friend. More than a brother. More than I've ever loved anyone,"I said as Alex watched me with wide eyes.
It was quiet for a few minutes. I stared at Alex and he stared back at me with no emotion at all. And then, completely out of no where, he laughed. It was only a few snickers at first but after a while, Alex was rolling around on the ground, holding his stomach, making no point to try and control his laughter.
"You-You're serious, Jack?" Alex gasped between laughs. "Oh my god! You have got to be joking! What? Do you want me to be your boyfriend and let you butt-fuck me every night?!" With that last comment, Alex went off on a whole new laughing spree.
I felt my eyes well up and before I knew it, the hot tears were running down my cheeks at an extremely fast pace. I knew for a fact that every part of my body was blood red. I was completely embarassed. Humiliated. And on top of that, I was furious. How could my best friend be laughing at me like this? We were supposed to be there for each other and he was laughing at the biggest secret he had ever kept.
"Alex.... I-I-Please stop laughing,"I choked out.
Alex's face fell and then twisted into another emotion. Disgust. "Oh god. You are being serious." He inched backwards and pulled himself off the ground. "You're gay? God, Jack. This is bullshit! What's the rest of the band going to think? Hell, what are the fans going to think?!"He spat.
The tears just kept coming, burning as the fell. I took a step towards him but he just backed away.
"Get away from me, you freak. Don't talk to me any more, okay? Don't look at me, don't think about me, don't do anything that involves you being within a mile of me. Got it?"He hissed. His eyes were black as the words left his lips.
"Alex....Please,"I cried.
"No. Bye, Jack."
I gasped and sat straight up in the bed I was sharing with a half asleep Alex. A sheen of sweat was covering my forehead and I felt Alex's hand on the small of my back and relaxed slightly, still trying to recover from my nightmare.
"Jack, you okay?"Alex said sleepily.
I nodded. "Just a bad dream,"I said looking at the clock and laying back down so that the older boy's arms could wrap around me once again.
"Wanna tell me about it?"Alex asked.
"Oh, no. Its fine. Just go back to sleep."
Alex nodded slightly and pressed his lips to my temple in an attempt to calm me down but in reality, it just made my insides churn more.
Alex was asleep again in a matter of minues so I decided to rest my head on his chest and let sleep engulf me once again.
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AN- Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter because it was really a lot of fun to write. I hope you don't hate me too much because of that dream. Tell me what you think! Comment and vote! I'd really appreaciate it!
Oh and on a different note, THE RECKLESS AND THE BRAVE!!!!!!!!! Oh my god, I can't take this excitement! The lyric teasers that we've gotten so far are FLAWLESS! Oh my god!!!! This new album is going to be fjdshfjsdhfuhreihrurgfhrjghjPERFECT! Especially since they recorded it an unsigned band! And speaking of, how about All Time Low leaving Interscope?! I'M SO PROUF OF THEM FOR DOING THAT!!! AH I'M JUST PROUD OF THEM IN GENERAL!!!! BUT HOLY TITTY FUCK!!!! THIS MONTH HAS BEEN AMAZING!!!!!! MAY IS ALL TIME LOW MONTH! SKUNK HAIR, COLUSSY'S WEDDING WITH OUR GUYS IN SUITS, THE RECKLESS AND THE BRAVE, NEW ALBUM SOON, ALL TIME LOW LEAVING INTERSCOPE, AND SINCE JACK TRENDED ON TWITTER HE HAS TO POST A VIDEO OF HIM DOING THE MACARENA!!!!! MY GOD! PPFT WHO NEEDS OVARIES?!
Okay, I'm done fangirling. But year if you don't know what The Reckless and The Brave is go to alltimelow.com
Again, thanks for reading! You even got a little fangirl bonus so I think that deserves a vote! And a comment! Haha thanks everyone! :) xx
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Caught Up In The Moment But Not In The Right Way (JALEX)
FanficJack Barakat loves Alex. For a while, Jack thought Alex loved him back. But soon after their new album is released, Alex's personality changes. He's focusing more on the music and not as much on Jack. Jack has to find a way to bring back the old Ale...
