Ten Letters To Cassidy

Letter Six

Dear Cassidy,

Yesterday Savannah and I went to the cemetery. We walked, neither of us had driven since your passing. I think I may actually have a phobia of driving. It really gets bad every time I get in a car. Savannah doesn't seem to mind, but we both know she's robotic.

We bought flowers and everything, I even insisted on bringing a candle. Savannah thought it was over kill. You know I don't think she's sad about your death anymore, she seems mad. I think she blames herself, and I don't blame her. We could have saved you, but Savannah doesn't need to beat herself up about it.

She also seems to be the target of rumors in our school lately. I can't even begin to understand why. Savannah isn't someone I'd mess with, she had that real scary look.

But all in all I think we had a nice time at your grave. I even made Savannah pray, and we all know how anti religion she is. Believes in all that scientific stuff, you never believed much in religion either. Oh well, your loss. I think God has really kept me centered through these hard times. He helped me pull through. At this point you and Savannah would laugh at me.

Cassidy, I miss you. I haven't been able to say that, to even think that. But if I'm ever going to say goodbye, I have to admit that I don't want to. I need to admit that your gone, you aren't coming back. And I've done that, I know you are truly gone. Except now I have to move on to the missing part. I have to cope now with the fact that your gone. And I don't know if I'll ever move pass this stage. I may be stuck here, missing you forever. No matter how much I don't want to let you go, I have to or I'll never move on. And I can't stop my life because you lost yours.

I miss you Cassidy, I miss you so damn much it hurts.

Love,

Riley