For Forever and A Day

Extra

Since the Accident:
10 years, 5 months, 4 days
May 11th, 2020

I never truly forgot Bryan Turners and I never completely moved on. I promised a small part of my heart to him when he was alive, and he took it with him when he died.

Its funny how you never truly loose a person when they're gone. They're always in your memory and they're always by your side, somewhere in your heart. At your best and at your worst they're there.

I had a hard time after he passed. Survivors guilt and PTSD of the events of that night struck me hard and I didn't know where to turn. If I had gone on any longer I would not have made it.

But I did find someone who was willing to help, no matter how much I didn't want any of it.

Loving Bryan was different. This was different. We were kids, having fun and enjoying being together and having our first real relationship.

I loved and love him. If he had asked and was still alive I would have married him.

But compared to my love for Ryan, it looks similar to that of a child. Bryan will always be my first love, but Ryan is always going to be my last.

Two years and counting, I wouldn't ask for anything else.

If I hadn't moved on from my heart break and pain, found help and others who have experienced the same pain as me and were able to help, I wouldn't be standing here today.

I know that now when I look back that I might have taken my own life.

So to those in the audience that are listening, who have experience a terrible loss and are feeling like they are fighting a loosing battle, you are not alone.

To the people who know others who are suffering and need help, don't give up on them. Keep pushing, keep persuading and keep fighting for them. Their lives affect many and every one is precious and treasured. They can't be let to fall.

Emotions are important. People are important but don't let one person affect your life so much that you feel as if you have to take your own to be happy.

Mehmet Murat Ildan said it best when he said that "The road to happiness has never been a straight one, and yet, it is the only road worth traveling, no matter how curvy or rock it is!"

That road is available to all of us.

Right now some of our roads may be under construction, but we can make it if we work together. If we help one another up and carry them in their times of need.

Never be afraid to reach out, and never be afraid of trying too hard to save someone else.

Thank you all for your time and I hope you have a pleasant evening.

Applause filled the room and Cassandra Blake smiled, waving a few times before she stepped down from the podium. Her hands were clammy and shaking but she did it. She had finished her speech without passing out.

Former Cassandra Williams had just spoken at her first successful conference on the importance of help from others for those who have experienced trauma.

For weeks the girl had prepared, writing her speech over and over again until everything sounded just right. And it had finally all paid off.

Her husband met her a few feet from the steps of the stage. He gave her a kiss on her forehead and a one armed hug before he handed their baby boy to her.

The woman smiled at their ten month baby boy. His name was Bellamy, after one of her favorite characters from a book series she read. She was even more excited since his last name would be Blake.

Of course Ryan had tried to fight her on it but he decided to let her pick his name and he would pick the boys middle name. And of course Ryan had to be a doofus about it.

"Hi baby Bellamy." The strawberry blonde cooed as she took his small hand in her own. Bellamy Stephen Blake.

Ryan had tried to persuade his wife a million times over that they should include Rogers after Stephen but she would have none of it. Instead, according to him, it was implied. So every time they would reprimand him when he was older he would include the Rogers, much to Cassandra's dismay.

The small boy giggled as his blue eyes with hues of green scanned his new surroundings. His curls were unruly but he didn't seem to care.

"You did amazing up there, just like I said you would." Ryan wrapped an arm around Cassandra. She leaned into her husband, the baby cradled tenderly in her embrace.

"I'm tired."

"I know, we haven't slept much these many months." The girl smiled.

"But I couldn't be happier." She fixed her babies hair, pushing it out of the way of his eyes delicately with her fingertips.

Ryan Blake chuckled as he rearranged his own mass of curls.

"Let's go home."

Cassandra Blake smiled as she nodded. The two placed the baby in his carriage and made sure they had everything before they exited the hall.

Ryan pushed the carriage towards the car and reached out for his wife's hand. She took it gingerly in her own as her other lay on her stomach.

"I love you Ryan."

"I love you too Cassandra"

"You know I wouldn't trade you for the universe right?"

Ryan nodded at his wife. "Of course I know. You tell me all the time."

The girl giggled. "I just wanted to make sure."

After buckling Bellamy into his car seat, they packed everything into the car and climbed into the vechile themselves. Cassandra fidgeted with the radio as Ryan began to drive.

"And just so you know Mrs. Cassandra Blake I wouldn't trade you for the universe either."