Found Me [Harry AU // COMPLETED]

Chapter Forty Four

Gemma had to calm herself. She tried hard to not lash out on that all-too-familiar boy. 

Aronica shouldn't ruin her reputation as well. 

"They shouldn't know," she whispers, panicking. "They shouldn't know"

She walks back and forth, her hands roaming around every furniture she passes by. She can feel herself slipping away, slowly into darkness but she shakes her head, sitting down on the couch. She looks up to see if Aronica's there and witness her weird figure, she'd guess. 

"She shouldn't know," her fingers tremble, eyes glancing everywhere, especially at the stairs. "She'll definitely say something about it"

Deciding that drinking water would help, she jogs over to the kitchen, afraid that walking and sitting put would mess up with her mind.

She doesn't take a glass and instead uses a plastic cup knowing that if she drops the glass it'd make a huge mess and Aronica would think there is more than to what she's showing.

"She shouldn't know" she shuts her eyes and later opens them to fill in the water. Hearing the cup fill up, she sighs, wanting to give everything up.

She couldn't even remember what made her so angry.

"What's wrong with me?" she whimpers, frustrated that she doesn't know why she goes out of control at some point, why she always seems to take things like it was a predator. She wasn't a victim or a prey. She never was. That incident never made her a victim anymore even if her cries were because of someone else. Even when someone was the reason for her brokenness, she'd never be a victim.

"I was just out of control" she says, standing up straighter. Her fears died down, her low sob disappearing as some part of her mind convinces her that she wasn't at all at fault. Her frown slowly goes away.

"It's okay. It was justice being served" she mutters, taking in breaths. She smiles, shaking her head and throws away the cup after drinking it at one go.

She felt bittersweet with all her thoughts fighting as she blankly stares into open space, nothing focusing on anything. Not on the familiar boy, or Aronica, or the incident. Just her mind doing its work.

She then thinks of Dan, the way she walked away from him several times and his apology today. She likes him, a lot. And his effort to build this bond between them tugged at her heart.

She didn't deserve him. He was too good for her despite being known for too bad.

But she heads out anyways, wanting to calm her loud head and frantic heart.

***

"Well, there's a drastic change on your face from when you walked out and walked in" Deanne shuts her book loudly, staring at his long expression.

"Shut up" he muttered.

"Okay. But you will tell me later, right?" she asks, silently wishing he would.

"Yeah, whatever" he sighs and lays on his bed, thinking about everything he saw. From Gemma, to her blank face that he seriously craves to pour all sorts of emotions on. It was frustrating, not knowing a single thing and having no idea at all. There was suffocation in his chest and the fact that it could be anything at all scared him to death.

 What if she was done with him? What if all this time she told him she liked spending time with him was just a rope to pull him closer?

No, no she wouldn't do that. He knows her. He's been observing her and that would be the last thing she'd do.