Floral & Fading (Perrentes M-Preg)

Chapter 22

April 25th, 2013

I let out an echoing groan as I come to. The heavy groggy feeling sits around me and slowly I open my eyes. Bright fluorescent lights shine in my eyes and I turn my head away from them. I lay there in bed then start to hear light crying. "How is she doing doc?" I hear Mike ask then a slow sigh.

"We can't tell yet Mike but I'm only in here to tell you your family is here. The woman who I assume is your Mom is having a heart attack." Dr. Roseland says.

"Fuck. Um send Vic and my Mom in," he says when I reach out for Mike.

"I-if Kellin is h-here please please please bring him in." I cry then turn back on my side. I hear someone leave the room then I feel Mike crawl into bed with me. I turn towards him and he holds me tightly but gently to make sure that my stitches don't rip. "Is she still alive?" I whisper.

"Yeah. She's still alive Tone." Mike says then I take a shaky breath and nod my head.

We were so worried that we'd lose the baby early in the pregnancy. Now we're going to lose her right before she was about to her here. She's here but she's not ours. She's most likely in an incubator and being watched by nurses and doctors while I wait in here and feel like I'm dying.

Mike and I lay there for a long time then we hear the door to my room opens up. Slowly Mike sits up then I feel arms go around me again. I look over and see Kellin with a somber face laying there with me. I wrap my arms around him as well then I start to cry. "Tony she's still fighting. She's still here," he says and then I start to cry harder.

"Is she in pain? Would it just be better that she was gone?" I cry and Kellin's breath hitches. The whole room goes quiet then more tears are shed by me, by Kellin, Mama's small tears are heard, by Mike, and by who I'm guessing is Vic.

No one knows what's going on with our little girl. "What did you name her?" Kellin asks and I smile lightly.

"Catalina. Catalina Rose Fuentes." I say with my Hispanic accent coming out but my voice breaks as I say her name. Kellin gets out of the bed then Mike takes his spot while still sitting up. I cuddle into his side then I look at Mama and she had many tears in her eyes.

This starts to tear me up inside. "I'm sorry Mama. I'm sorry I couldn't be good enough to carry her full term and to give you healthy grandbaby. I'm sorry mike.... I failed our little girl." I start to cry again. The feeling of choking on my own tears and sobs.

"Oh, Tony this isn't your fault! Things just happen and this is one of them." Mama says and Mike lightly kisses my forehead while tightening his hold on me.

"You didn't fail her, or me, or Mama. You did right by this family and we're not leaving you, Tony." Mike whispers and I turn to look at him.

"But what about Catalina? Is she going to leave me? Is she going to leave us?" I whisper and he takes a deep breath then closes his eyes lightly. Once again he opens his eyes and looks at me with love and despair.

"I hope not but you never know Tone. Things happen and sometimes we can't control what happens. If we lose her it means we're not meant to be parents yet. We're going to... to be fine." Mike says and he breaks at the last few words. Tears streaming down his face.

I hide my face in his chest and we just sit there and hold onto one another. Finally, I see Vic stand up then he quickly leaves the room. I clench my eyes closed and take a deep breath. I look up at Mike and he presses a light kiss to my lips. "I love you and our family, even if we, even if we're down one in a couple days," he says and I kiss him back.

"Mike promise me. Please promise me that no matter what happens you don't go back to the guy who hung out with Keifer. That you stay the man I love." I say and he smiles at me lightly and runs the tips of his fingers over my jawline.

"That guy is gone, I'm here with you," he says then I nod my head. I hear kellin sit down next to me in the chair then he holds my hand tensely.

"I-I have to go tell Papa what's going on," Mama says then walks out of the room. I take in a deep breath then lean back closer to Mike.

"Time to play the waiting game."