message me + fack

37

play the song if you want! it doesn't really matter lol
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Finn laid on his bed hugging a pillow of his. he felt betrayed and so naive at the same time. he knows he is gay and that feelings that he had for Millie aren't real and maybe Jaeden is right; maybe its just the thought of her.

so many things walked into his brain one by one. whats gonna happen now and how is he gonna try to see Millie without breaking down. he knew he shouldn't but his brain was telling him that maybe this can be the only way his parents will see him as normal. he is a depressed gay seventeen year old and they probably think he is a freak. maybe if he fix the gay part then he will be normal enough for his family.

sounds like an awful plan but to Finn it was a good one. he had trouble accepting who he is but he did accept himself when he got comfortable enough. yet in the back of his head was still insecurity about his sexuality. Jaeden always told him that everything about him is okay and that he could get through this one by one. Finn now thinks of him as a lier and a selfish person.

three knocks were heard and a sound of his door opening. he thought it was his mom when they closed the door but when they sat on the bed it hardly made a dip. he turned and saw Jack there looking at the posters on Finns wall. amazed by it all that he totally forgot why he came in there for.

"shouldn't you be with Jaeden?" Finn asked sitting up still hugging his pillow.

"i wanted to check up on you since you seem more hurt then Jae but he is sorry and he just wanted to protect you" Jack said. "but it was a dick move not to tell you.."

"do you think i over reacted?" Finn asked laying his chin on the pillow which is rested on his lap. (he is sitting down and his lap is where his chest is idk if i explained that well ). Jack sighed shaking his head. he thought it was fine how he reacted. hurting he would have did the same thing if he was him. specially since that was a big thing to hide from someone.

"there is no such thing as exaggerating when it comes to love" Jack replied back. "but he does have a point when he said you are gay."

"ugh dont remind me" Finn sighed. "i know i am its just she was something different... she made me feel normal?"

"there is no such thing on being normal! normal is just a word people use to put others down or society uses it to make people want to kill them selves" Jack said. "sorry to say that specially in this house but you aren't normal and neither am i! is it that bad that you want to make yourself be straight just to be normal?"

"i-i dont know.." Finn said. his head is everywhere and he cant stop thinking. maybe Jack is right maybe normal is just a useless word.

"we are all weirdos of this world we live in. some people are just more weird then others.. but at the end of the day we are all still humans" Jack got up and sat next to Finn. "at the end of the day we are all hopeless people trying to be normal but failing so bad."

"hopeless is just a state of mind" Finn said and Jack chuckled.

"yeah it is" Jack said looking at the wall in front of them. silence took over and it wasn't awkward at all. silence was what they needed and time to think more.

"if i believe in you.. will that make it stop?" Finn asked. "the hatred of me not accepting myself?"

"only you can stop it Finny" Jack said with a sigh. "you shouldn't hate yourself you are too beautiful for that"

Finn turned to Jack not knowing if he heard correctly. his heart was set off like fireworks and that was the best he could describe it as. Jack cheeks were red because he didn't mean to say it out loud. Finn looked back at the wall letting the silence fall down on them again.
the two boys in the room didn't know what to feel anymore.they knew that the conversation they are having is deep and if one of them says something wrong that would be the end of everything. so they are making sure to choose their words carefully and not to make a mistake. they didn't want to make each other hate one another. Finn didn't want to fight with Jack too.

"sometimes i feel like killing myself would solve everything" Finn spoke up. "but i look at how everything turned out with my sister and i just feel like it wouldn't but how badly i want to be dead is too much for me."

"dont die Finn" Jack said. "i know that sounds so useless and unworthy coming from me but don't do it. don't you mind?"

"what if the world is better without me?" Finn said looking at Jack. his expression filled with sadness as he looked at Jack. it was like a scream for help.

"but Finn if you die then what is Jaeden gonna do? who's house is he gonna sneak into at three am to talk to? who is your brother gonna have? your parents would just quit all at once. what am i gonna do without you?" Jack said and Finn rolled his eyes. "dont roll your eyes at me! what am i gonna do? i love waking up with the notification from you! it makes me want to actually get up and start my day because i know that you care enough to text me! you make me feel like a million times better in the morning you make me feel so free and i cant imagine my life without you."

the two now looking at each other face to face. Jack already had tears falling down his cheeks and Finns is starting to cry. Jack put his two hands on either side of finns face and sighed. they stayed like that for a while as Jack took every detail of Finns face in his brain. the beautiful boy in front of him. he wouldn't change this moment for the world. all their emotions were filling up the room all at once and they were so impatient but Jack needed to say something.

"i love you.. dont you mind?" Jack said and leaned in. the two boys lips were on each other. the two both closing their eyes feeling sparks fly in the air.

Finn could finally say; he felt normal for the first time in forever.