You wanted to know if your story was enjoyable, the plot and the characters.
Was your story enjoyable?
There are various factors that make a story enjoyable and I shall break them up.
Grammar, Punctuation and Spelling
This us actually a very important factor in making your story enjoyable. People like me can't stand reading stories with bad grammar, punctuation and spelling hence the story isn't enjoyable but your grammar, punctuation and spelling was well done. I can't remember a single mistake I saw and that was a job well done.
Grammar, punctuation and spelling 9/10
Description
Descriptions are very important as they execute your ideas. The descriptions were actually well done but I felt as if you did a little more telling than showing when describing the dragons.
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This was your description of Isis. I think you should break it down and scatter her descriptions throughout the chapter.
Isis spread out her white wings as she readied herself to take flight when the priests were done. They could be annoying but they took care of her. Her gold and rich amber coloured scales were kept perfectly polished because of them after all.
That's an example of what I think it should be. It's not a great example but I think I've tried.
Description 4/10
Plot
I think I'll just do plot here since its another factor that helps people enjoy your story. I think the plot was unique and we'll done. I liked the prologue where you explained the history of the pocket dragons. I also like the pacing of your plot and how you first introduced each individual dragon before you continued with the plot. The plot was well thought and a job well done.
Plot 9/10
Characters
Another very important factor in making your story enjoyable.
I really liked the individual characters. You made the dragons each have unique personalities which means more character's could relate to them. My favourite were Isis because of the girl power she showed on the fifth chapter and Azara.
I liked Azara because of how dissociated him from humans. Usually, authors have problems dissociation the mystical creatures from humans. Sometimes they make them seem too much like humans which ruins the authenticity of a mystical creature.
Azara's thoughts showed that he saw humans as queer creatures and didn't understand them which helped in making the pocket dragons authentic.
A warning that people will get confused on which dragon is which at the start of the story but as your story grown so will their interest in the story.
Characters 9/10
Total Score: 31/40 Percentage: 78 %
Your story is enjoyable.
Other recommendations:
1. Separate your dialogue. Put each dialogue in its own paragraph to avoid paragraphs looking cramped.
2. Separate the long paragraphs to become short ones as they are easier to read and understand.
3. I love your cover. I know this isn't a recommendation but the cover just reminds me of Merlin and Harry Potter.
