Daddy's Boy

Letting Go

A/N I have been struggling this week with writers block... or rather just the ability to function really... like static in the brain... it's short, but I am finally satisfied with it:

I slammed the door and heard a shout from the living room. Edmund came storming out but I completely ignored him. I threw my jacket on the ground and yelled. I was so freaking mad right now, I had tears streaming from my eyes in my sheer frustration. I hated my job. I hated those stupid people I had to work with.

I picked up my bear and threw it against the wall. I toppled my bin and kicked a hole through the side of it. My toys spilled out across the floor and I stomped by them to my bedroom. I was about to slam my bedroom door when a hand came out and stopped me suddenly. My arm was grabbed and I was pulled against a strong body. I struggled against him for a moment.

"Brendan! Enough! Stop it. Right. This. Minute." He growled at me. I shook my head and struggled again. I was tossed over his shoulder and dragged into the bathroom. He put me down in the shower and turned the cold water on me. I weakly smacked his arm off me and sank to my butt. I sat in the cold shower and fumed, now at them and him. How dare he! How could he! He was being mean to me. After a minute he turned off the spray and passed me a fluffy towel.

I refused to use it. I heard the doorbell ring and ignored both it and him. He left me sitting there and I heard murmuring in the next room. I started to chatter from the cold, so I got up and started to strip my wet things off. Soon I was naked with the towel wrapped around my shoulders. I was still mad, and I sat on the floor next to my bed to pout.

"I hope you are happy. That was the neighbour come to see if you were okay. I told her you slipped and fell." A dark voice came from the doorway. I refused to look at him. "Do you want to tell me what this was all about?" I shook my head belligerently. "Fine." I heard his footsteps across the room and he pulled me up roughly. I tried to shake him off but he sat down and threw me across his lap.

I knew what he was about to do and I protested the unfairness. I didn't think I deserved a spanking. I was the one who was hurt and mad, so why should I get punished for that? The first crack of his hand on my backside had me squirming to try and escape. He grabbed on carefully and held me down in place. Another crack landed on my backside.

"It's not fair! I don't deserve a spanking!" I argued as I tried to get away. He stopped for a second and grabbed tight to my hair, making me wince. I held still so I didn't rip my hair out, and he leveled his dark gaze at me.

"You don't think you deserve it? You disturbed the neighbours with your slamming doors, you threw your toys, you broke your toy bin... for what? Because you are angry? Not acceptable. I am teaching you what is unacceptable behaviour for my boy. Understand?" He growled at me. I was flushed with shame now that he put it that way. I wasn't thinking at all, just reacting the way I wanted. He shook me a little and I realised he was waiting for a response.

"Yes Daddy!" I whimpered. He seemed satisfied and let go of my hair. He placed me back in position and this time he warned me.

"You are getting ten more for misbehaviour and three more for trying to avoid your punishment. Count them for me." He smacked me hard, not holding back and I winced at the sting on my bare skin. I counted each one out quietly, and he didn't make me repeat myself. By the time he was done, my anger was cooled completely and I was repenting the fit I had earlier. He helped me get to my feet carefully and suggested I lay down on the bed.

I didn't want to lay down though, and gingerly made my way to the living room. There I surveyed the destruction I had caused in my path. My teddy was laying limply against the wall, my basket was smashed and my toys were scattered. I picked up the bear first and hugged him to me. Then I went and picked up my dinosaurs and put them back in the broken basket.

I was actually upset now that I looked at it. I needed a new one. Again. It had been perfect and I ruined it. All because I was angry at them. I wiped my face as I felt tears streaking my cheeks. I felt a strong set of arms envelope me and at first I wanted to pull away because the spanking was too fresh in my mind. He didn't let me, rather he carefully picked me up and cradled me in his arms.

"There now, sweetheart. We will get you a new basket. You just need a better way to get all your frustrations out, okay? Why don't you tell me all about it, love?" He crooned to me as he rocked me in his arms. I could hardly speak over my sobbing, and I give him credit for understanding any of it. He asked me questions to clarify it and let me call them bad names without a word.

"Why are people so mean, Edmund?" I whined finally. He shook his head sadly. He sat in his chair now, cradling me carefully so I wasn't rubbing my sore backside on anything.

"I don't know sweetheart. This guy sounds like he was jealous of you and wanted to make your life harder because of it. He has no idea what your life is like, or what you have been through. He just assumed your life was amazing compared to his and took out his anger about his own life on you." He whispered to me. I shook my head at the stupidity.

"It's not fair." I whimpered. He nodded against my hair, stroking me gently.

"You are right. It wasn't fair of him. Life isn't fair though. Life is hard. It is people doing things because they think they are right, without actually looking beneath the top layer to see if they might be wrong. It is people being thoughtless and cruel for no reason at all. That's why we should try to be better people. We may not be able to fix all the cruelty and apathy, but we can create light in the lives we touch. We can make our lives brighter that way." He kissed my head and I looked up at him in awe. He was so smart. I was so very lucky I had found this man.

"I'm sorry Edmund. I will try to be better next time." I promised. He wiped my tears away and kissed my nose.

"I know you will baby. I forgive you. Next time come talk to me, okay? Sit right here on my lap and tell me all about it. I am here to listen." He nuzzled my cheek and I closed my eyes in contentment.

*

"Here, I have something for you." I blinked awake and looked over at Edmund's smiling face. He was holding out a cute blue calendar of sorts. I yawned and sat up with a wince, looking at the stickers and writing all over it. It was... it was like my Day-Timer at work only way more fun. It had things like playing with toys, working out, eating meals, and brushing my teeth on it.

"Aww! It's really cute. Thank you Daddy, I really like it. What's this though?" I pointed at a line. It was 'Talking to Daddy' and came right after 'Change into Casual Clothes' on the schedule. I tilted my head and considered. I mean, wasn't I allowed to talk to him all the time? Why was there a specific time on there for that?

"I am glad you asked that baby. That is time I set aside so you can tell me about what was good or bad about your day. Time for you to vent, so to speak. Do you think this will work?" He stroked my hair and I nearly purred in happiness. I nodded and pulled at his clothes to get him to sit next to me. He flopped down and I climbed onto his lap.

"I can start tomorrow though right?" I whispered into his ear. He nodded and squeezed me in tight to him. I squawked a little when it got too tight and we both laughed. He turned on the tv and switched to a cartoon movie for us to watch together. He let me sit on his lap carefully so my backside wasn't getting squashed uncomfortably.

I was going to be feeling it for a few days at least. Just the thought of sitting in my office chair tomorrow had me cringing. I guessed I sort of deserved it. Maybe I could pick up a pillow to sit upon on my way in. Edmund has been cuddling me more than usual after the fact, and I admit I was soaking in the attention. I loved being able to sit on his lap, climb in his arms and just being the centre of his attention.

Not that I planned to do anything to deserve another spanking any time soon. No, that was something I planned to avoid in the future. I didn't like it. I think maybe it was better to get his attention with being good instead. All I had to do was follow my schedule now. He was going to put it up on the side of the fridge and said I could go and check it any time I needed to. I thought I could probably just remember it though.

I liked that I wouldn't have to think when I got home anymore. I could just shed my working persona and be Edmund's little boy instead. I didn't have to worry about my responsibilities, what I was going to do or eat, I could just relax. Truly and utterly let go.