All my friends keep asking why I’m not around...
The following day, Lindsay and Rebecca returned and this time, the two girls and my three mates dragged me out of my room and sat me down in the lounge room. They sat around me and I instantly got the feeling this wasn’t going to be good.
“I’m going to get straight to it, Ashton.” Lindsay sighs, “Well, Luke told me that you relapsed, and we’re worried about you. Even more so now.”
“Stop worrying about me. I’m fine.” I slightly snap.
“You’re obviously not, mate.” Luke shakes his head.
“And remember, you said you would talk to us so we know how you’re feeling. We’re just trying to communicate.” Michael reminds me and I turn my head and roll my eyes. I love these boys but the last thing I want to do right now is “communicate”.
“Fine.” I mumble in cooperation.
“We just think you need to talk about how you’re feeling.” Rebecca says, offering me a gentle smile. I always liked Rebecca the most out of her two friends; Lindsay was feisty and headstrong, and Rebecca was sweet and caring.
“It’s never good to bottle things up, especially in your case. You’ve spent four months locked away with nothing but you, your thoughts, and alcohol. That’s not a good combination when you’re this upset.” Calum adds, and I knew that I wasn’t going to leave here and go back to my cave until I coughed up any ‘feelings’ I have.
“Do you miss her?” Lindsay stupidly asks me and I actually laugh at her.
“Of course I do.”
“Do you love her?” She continues to ask stupid questions.
I look to her boyfriend, Luke, “Is she serious?” I mutter to him, pointing to his deranged girlfriend.
“Just answer the question.” She pushes.
“Yes, of course I love her. I love her more than I love breathing.”
“Do you want her back?” Okay, she’s starting to piss me off with these questions.
“Don’t be an idiot, you know I want her back more than anything. I want her back in my arms, where she’s safe and sound. I want her back in that bed with me, falling asleep next to me. I want to do all the things we used to do. I want to kiss her, to hug her, to hold her hand. I just want her.” I ramble on and on, unable to stop myself from spilling my feelings. Lindsay doesn’t even hide her victorious smirk.
“Do you feel better?” She asks me, her smirk not faltering and I roll my eyes again.
“I want to punch something now.” I retort.
“That won’t help you.”
“I think it will, and you’re only pushing the urge further.” She actually laughs and shakes her head and I clutch the lounge cushion underneath me with tight fists.
“What do you miss about her?” Rebecca continues with more questions, this one less stupid than Lindsay’s dumbass questions.
“God, where do I start? I miss her smile; she could always light up a room with her smile itself. And I miss the way her lips always tasted like strawberry chapstick, and the way her hair smelled like the coconut shampoo that she loved.” I can almost taste the strawberry chapstick and smell the coconut shampoo right now.
“I miss her eyes, so big and brown…oh, and her laugh. Her laugh is the most beautiful sound in the world. She always hated it, but I absolutely love it. I miss the way I would hold her. I miss the way she’d fall asleep on my lap sometimes, how her little body would curl up into a ball. She’d mumble little incoherent things in her sleep and her lips would twitch when she’s deep in a dream. I miss the feeling of her fingers in my hair. I miss the way she’d twirl around the room when she’s happy. I miss hearing her softly sing along in the car to the songs on the radio. I miss…just everything about her.” I sigh heavily. Their faces tell me that they weren’t expecting me to say that much.
