*Sabrina's POV*
"I knew it. I knew I shouldn't have left your apartment." I spit, running my fingers through my hair out of pure stress.
"Oh come on, you had to get out, you've been cooped up there since you got here a month ago." Lindsay waves it off.
"He just saw me, Linds!" I yell a little too loudly for a public place.
"And? You have to face him sooner or later. You both need to stop hiding from your demons." She points at me, scolding me like the older sister she's always been to me. I sigh heavily, continuing to stuff the back of her car with our groceries, constantly looking around me to see if Ashton would be looking for me. I live in a state of constant fear.
He looked the same as I left him, just a little more...broken. I saw the way his hair was even more of a mess than usual, presumably from his long fingers running through it more than normal. From where I was standing, I could clearly see he looked tired and I wondered when the last time he slept properly was. I know it's been a hell of a long time for me. He looked like he'd just seen a ghost when I met his eyes and it killed me inside. I just had to get out of there, in fear that he'd realize it was me and come up to me. So I ran. I took Lindsay's hand and ran.
"Besides, how do you know he even knew it was you? You know his eyesight has always been shit since he lost his glasses." Lindsay continues and I wonder how long she'd been talking since I spaced out. But she makes a valid point.
"I guess." I sigh, just wanting to go back to my new found sanctuary that has become Lindsay's apartment. She's been a gem, letting me stay in her apartment and dealing with me at all hours of the day. I've started to feel a sense of guilt seeing as I don't do anything all day. I feel like a free loader, telling myself I should get a job but I don't even know how long I'm going to stay in Sydney.
Finally, Lindsay and I make our way back to her apartment, finding Rebecca already there and sitting on the lounge.
"Hey!" Rebecca chirps, skipping up to us and helping us with the bags. "Why does Sabrina look more stressed out than usual?" She asks innocently.
I chuckle, "Thanks Becca." She smiles apologetically.
"Because at the shop, we happened to see Ashton with Luke in the same aisle as us and Sabrina thinks Ashton saw her."
"We made direct eye contact, of course he saw me." I defend.
Becca gasps loudly, "Oh my god! Well did you talk to him?!" She pushes me.
"No! Why the hell would I do that? I just barely left the house today, I had enough anxiety as it is!"
"Bri, you have to talk to him someday. That's why you came back."
"No, I came back to be with my friends which are you two." I correct her, putting away the carton of milk and juice in the fridge.
"The boys were your friends too." Lindsay points out matter-of-factually.
"Yes but you were my friends first, like family to me."
"Okay, but they were like family to you too." Becca joins in on the ganging up on me.
"Jesus, I don't want to see them because that would mean seeing Ashton, okay?!" I snap, sighing when I realize how much of a bitch I sounded just then. "Shit, I'm sorry guys."
"You really can't keep hiding from him, love. You love him and he really loves you. Why don't you both suck it up and just talk it out?" Lindsay sets a hand on her hip whereas I start to rub my temples, needing to sit down.
"I'm sure he'd love to talk things out with you. You could really get something out of him, I'm sure."
"I don't want to get anything out of him." I warn them. I can practically see the wheels turning in their minds.
"Bri, the last time he's expressed any feelings he has about this whole thing was a month ago, when I sent you that voice memo. And I'm sure that was the only time since this started. I bet if you saw him and just talked to him, even for five minutes-"
I've had enough, "I don't want to speak to him for five minutes or ten minutes or even one minute! I can't do it, okay? It's just too hard!" I yell, shaking with slight anger and mostly anxiety. Just the thought of having to speak to him face to face is giving me a near panic attack.
Lindsay slowly walks up to me, taking my hand, "Babe, I know you're afraid. I can see the pure fear in your eyes. But you know you are in love with him. You always said he was the one for you and now you're going to hide from him? It just doesn't make sense. But if you need time to adjust to this life again and if you need time before you see Ashton again, we'll allow you that time until you feel comfortable. But just know that you can't wait forever."
"I-I know." I nod shakily.
"If it helps, I'm sure Ashton is just as afraid as you are, maybe even a little more. It's okay to be scared, you're in a tough situation." Rebecca adds and once again, I nod.
"Go up to your room, I'll take care of dinner." Lindsay smiles, giving me a hug. I let Becca hug me as well, needing their love most of all because they're all I have. I silently make my way up to my room while my two best friends talk about me and Ashton.
What the hell am I going to do now? They're both right, I can't deny that and I can't keep fighting them. I know they care about me more than anything; hell, Lindsay paid for my flight back to Sydney from London and she's letting me stay in her apartment for free. I just can't face Ashton again, at least not right now.
* * * *
The following morning, I'm woken up to the sound of the door knocking. I figure it's just another delivery; Lindsay has a small obsession with online shopping. There were four deliveries just last week. Knowing she's got it taken care of, and now that I can't get back to sleep, I rise from my bed, run my fingers through my hair and head to the kitchen for some breakfast at 12:30 in the afternoon. Who the hell says breakfast has to be eaten in the morning?
"Linds, who's at the door?" I ask through a yawn, widening my eyes to their full extreme when I see it's not a delivery person at the door.
"Holy shit!"
It's Luke. I'm officially screwed.
+ + + + + + + +
DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN!
i'm sorry if this was short, but it's changing POV's next chapter :)
I'm also very sorry this took me like 500 years to put up. I had writer's block for a while and then i sort of threw it under the rug because i was working on other things and i had an idea so i wrote a couple chapters and i'm still working on it. I really love this story and it's going to get exciting very soon. Sadly, i might have to end it, but i don't know when that will happen. Just bare with me guise :)
Please comment what you think and PRETTY PLEASE vote!!
Xoxo S. <3
