*Sabrina’s POV*
It’s been four days since I allowed Luke to tell Ashton that I am back in Sydney and I’ve been more and more scared each day that passes. I know Luke told Ashton not to come see me, because he swore that he told him, but every time there is a knock at the door, I’m terrified it’s Ashton so I’d squeal and run to my room, and Lindsay always has to assure me that it’s not Ashton. I’m just so afraid because knowing Ashton, he’d randomly show up against Luke’s and my wishes and I’d be stuck. I know I’ve got about two more days until I see Ashton again for the first time in five months and I certainly need those two days to prepare myself. What the hell do I even say to him? I’m going to need these next two days to prepare some sort of a speech or anything to say to him.
* * * *
“Sabrina seriously babe we need to go now!” Lindsay whines outside my door. I’ve been sitting on the bed with my knees tucked to my chest. The day has come; I’m going to see Ashton in just twenty minutes and he has no idea. I feel like bursting into tears just at the thought. What will he do? Is he just as scared as I am? Will he say he hates me for leaving, even though he loves me? Worse, will he say he loves me? That would break down every barrier I’d spent months building up.
A million and one questions are running through my head, making my head hurt. I feel dizzy and suddenly I feel like faking puking to get out of this. But that would be silly and I promised Luke. I know he’s counting on me; he hasn’t let me forget it since I agreed to do this. I just didn’t think this day would come as soon as it did. I had six damn days to prepare and I still feel like I need about six more months to be fully prepared.
“Sabrina!” Lindsay calls again, startling me out of my thoughts sharply.
“Um, one second.” I weakly yell back, finally crawling off my bed and heading to the mirror as I hear her walk away. I take a glance at myself. I look exhausted; gee, that might be because I hardly slept last night. I’ve tried to make myself look as presentable as possible, not as shit as I feel. I felt I did a fairly good job, my hair is all in place, my makeup is basically on point which sucks because there’s a good chance I’ll be crying, and the jeans and t-shirt I’m wearing are comfortable and is what Ashton is used to seeing me in.
“Okay, Sabrina. You can do this. Don’t be a little bitch. Lindsay, Rebecca, Luke, and especially Ashton – basically the whole world – is counting on you to show up no matter how scared you are. Suck it up and live up to your promise like a strong independent woman. Everyone will be disappointed in you if you bitch out. Do it for Ashton…Do it for Ashton.” With another deep breath and my self-pep talk done, I lift my chin up, tuck my hair behind my ears and turn to the door. Walking out slowly, I meet Lindsay and Becca in the lounge room. They stand when they see me walking in.
“Ready babe?” Becca smiles gently, gripping my arms.
“Ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s go before I change my mind.” I quickly say and they’re in a rush to get me out of the apartment. It still feels odd leaving the apartment and I feel so small sitting in the backseat of the car, like a child.
“Everything will be okay Bri, I promise. If you don’t feel comfortable just let us know and we’ll take you back, but you need to give it a try first before you say you’re not comfortable.” Lindsay tells me, glancing at me through the rearview mirror as I take soothing deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself. I recognize the route we’re taking towards the boys’ house and the nerves set in even deeper in my gut and my breathing becomes quicker and shallower as I try to regain my sliver of confidence I had back in the comfort of my room.
The car pulls up to the curb of the boys’ house and I freeze. That was the shortest drive of my life. Was that really twenty minutes or did we just fucking transport like in those freaky sci-fi movies?
