Loved You First [[[Niall Horan]]]

Chap Nine | I Want To Like Him ✰

 

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A n n e  |  Chap Nine ✰ ✰ ✰

"Oh, homeworks suck!" I cursed as I crumpled my 17th paper. My trash bin has been filled with empty but crumpled papers. I don't know why I crumpled them. I mean, I barely wrote anything. I was just wasting paper. Our economics teacher actually gave an assignment for a boring half day Saturday class tomorrow and that is to make an essay about the rising economy of Ireland. Seriously? What on Earth does a 16 year old girl have to do with the economy of her country? I couldn't even talk to a best friend who's just a few miles away from me. I don't even have any idea on how he's doing and they're asking me to make an explanation of a rising economy. Who gives a shit anyway? No one cares unless it would starve all Irish people. My teacher should really choose a better topic because a 3 paragraph essay would not be easy.

I sighed. Since when have I been so lazy to do homework? Homeworks were all just a piece of cake for me. I don't even have time to complain about it. This should probably be all because of Niall. He's been wandering in my head for weeks now.

I know I shouldn't be thinking about him. This is why I'm distancing myself right? To forget about my feelings and come back with a brand new me, with no feelings attached anymore. That's my goal, but how can I do it when he's all I could think? Sure, we haven't been talking for weeks now, but that doesn't mean I never thought of him again. I just stopped showing him.

Ever since the 13th, the day when Niall surprise me, he became busier and busier. I know why anyways, I understand. We had calls the first week, before we both head to sleep, then it became my hobby to call him first because he hasn't been calling me first lalely on the weekends, and on the 3rd week, I decided to stop reaching out and let him be. I knew this was happening. Their band has been really popular lately, gaining more and more fans, more and more opportunities and I couldn't be any happier for them. This was all they wanted. But I texted Niall and he casually replies, but I felt like I bore him, so I stopped texting him and  accept that their growing fame is just simply taking him away from me. Who wouldn't get bored of me? Especially Niall, who's known me for years. So many prettier girls surround him knowing, he could just call them and know them and conclude that I was just a boring best friend and he'll leave me. He's even closer to reaching Demi now. They're superstars and in time, they'll all forget me. He will forget me. So it's better to stay away and simply divert my attention to my new found friend Harry who even makes time to have Skype calls with me.

For the past 3 weeks, I have been opening myself more to Harry. Harry makes me think the other way around. With Harry, I always forgot that he's in the same band with Niall, that he's as busy as Niall, as perfect and good as Niall. I don't feel that way to Harry. Harry is a different person. I found out how genuine he is and how blunt he may become, but he became one of my most trusted friends. With him, I can feel the concern and time. Though he's as busy as the other boys are, he makes time for me. Why can't Niall do that?

I am even assuming that maybe Harry likes me because he's been really sweet to me lately but I don't want to jump into conclusions. Harry liking me doesn't even bother me. He's a good guy and I would be lucky enough if he does feel that way. He is one gorgeous lad and he deserves more than me.

Why am I even talking about him? I'm not even sure about this.

But sometimes I wish he does like me. I really want to like Harry too. I want to like him because I have a great feeling he'll treat me well. Harry makes me happy, because he is Harry. Not because Niall isn't around, but because I like Harry the way he is and the way he is not. I just have to give myself more time to accept that my Niall is gone and maybe somehow, we could give us Harry a chance.