Rosie's Diner (Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

Chapter 26

Rosie's POV

*6 Years Later*

I feel numb.

Numbness throughout my whole entire body. 

I lye in my bed, knees up to my chest and i sob uncontrollably. 

"Rosie.. you've got to tell me what happened.. i want to help you" Mum says rubbing my back up and down. I shake my head weakly and the only thing that comes out of my mouth is "Shawn" "He's out with Andrew and Geoff but I'll call him now" she replies and exits my room to call Shawn. For the next hour i stay in the same exact position until Shawn calls out my name and he comes rushing into my room. I stand up from the bed and i just collapse into his arms and start to cry uncontrollably again. 

"Woah.. hey.. what happened?" he asked, getting worried as he sat down on the ground with me in his lap. It took all the strength and energy in me to tell Shawn what had happened to me.

"I had a miscarriage" i cried 

Shawn did nothing. He was trying to think of something to say but he had nothing. Instead he had tears brim in his eyes and he just hugged me tightly. We both just sat there on the ground, crying together. "I'm so sorry" i choked back a sob "What for baby? this was never your fault" he says and tries to wipe away my tears but more stream down my face. "I just found out this morning.. i took a pregnancy test and it came out positive.." i go over to my bag and take out the pregnancy test, showing Shawn. It was the only proof i had that said i was actually pregnant. I then continued on and explained everything to Shawn. 

"After i had found out, i went to the hospital to get an ultrasound done.. i was only 8 weeks pregnant and the doctor said that everything was perfect.. so i came back home and since you were out with Geoff and Andrew i was thinking about all the ways i could tell you.. you don't understand how happy i was that we were gonna be parents, i couldn't fucking wait to tell you.. A few hours had past and i felt slight cramping in my stomach, of course i got worried so i looked it up on the internet and it said that everything was going to be fine so i stopped worrying about it.. that was until i went to the bathroom and found some blood on my underwear so back to the internet and every single article said that i was normal in pregnancies..

So once again i stopped worrying about it and went back to thinking about how i could tell you.. then again, more cramping.. and this was just like any other period cramp, hurting like hell.. i was thinking that this couldn't be right so i went back to the bathroom and sure enough there was a blood.. a whole shit ton of blood.. i was having a miscarriage right then and there, Shawn.. so i drove myself back to the hospital and had and emergency ultrasound and they told me that i had lost the baby.. they prepped me and had to take the baby out themselves.. i was hysterical the whole time.. once the little baby, the size of my nail, was out, i got some time to say goodbye.. it was so hard to say goodbye, i just wish you were with me for that..

After the traumatising experience they did more tests on me to see what could of cause the miscarriage and they told me that i couldn't have babies.. i physically can not fall pregnant, it's impossible and i feel so sad because of it.." 

I literally could not keep my emotions together. I had to let it all out. "It is my fault Shawn! it's all my fault" i say, clutching onto Shawn's jacket "I've always wanted to have a family.. ever since i was a teenager.. and now i actually can't fall pregnant.. do you know how guilty this makes me feel?" i added "Hey.. you don't have to be guilty, honey.. there are definitely options.. adoption and surrogate, i'm open to any one of those" Shawn says and kisses the top of head "This is why i love you.. you agree to anything" i look up at him and smile slightly "Of course i'll agree to anything if it's for you.. i love you very much, Rosie and you know that" he replies back. 

*****

The majority of the day was spent with Shawn in bed. Just watching TV in my room and literally anytime a TV show or an ad with a baby in it would make me ball my fucking eyes out. We eventually told mum and dad the news and they were both so supportive about it. They didn't asked questions, if they both even had any and that was good because i was not in the mood to talk about my miscarriage. "You've gotta eat something, Love" Shawn says, kissing my temple "I'm not hungry.. i haven't eaten since i lost the baby.. which was basically breakfast" i say quietly "You go down and eat, i promise i'll be fine up here" i nodded and weakly smiled. Shawn nodded back and kissed my forehead then went downstairs to eat dinner.

I went on to my phone and checked instagram, snapchat and twitter. I didn't post or tweet anything i just wanted to check my feed. And once again i see a picture of Isabella and Jordan's 6 year old twins and i just lose it again. I chuck my phone to the floor and curl up under the sheets and cry like i have been for this whole entire day. And i keep putting my hand on my stomach thinking that i'm still pregnant but of course i'm not and it's just so sad.