CLOSER

˚f i v e˚

╔═══"chapter five" ═╗

                         ╚═ "drowning" ═══╝

the morning after the fight wasn't the hardest. it was two mornings after, when jeongguk finally realized seokjin wasn't coming back.

numbly he went about his morning routine, showering, getting dressed and brushing his teeth. he wasn't hungry, so he just grabbed his bag and left, locking the door behind him. as he waited for the elevator, he heard someone walk up behind him.

"jeongguk?" he heard yoongi say, and turned slightly to look at the shorter male. the older's voice was gentle, a hint of sympathy in his tone.

"hi, yoongi hyung." he mumbled, not even having the energy to sound like he wasn't falling apart on the inside.

yoongi opened his mouth to ask something, but just then the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. jeongguk hit the button for the lobby, keeping his eyes on the dirty and scuffed floor as yoongi walked in.

"you doing okay?"

jeongguk bit down on his lip, already feeling the emotions welling up in his chest. "y-yeah. of course i am. why wouldn't i be?" he tried his best to keep his voice level, to not betray his true feelings.

yoongi frowned, watching the younger tighten his grip on the strap of his bag so harshly his knuckles turned white. "i know about what happened, jeongguk, so don't feel you have to pretend around me."

the ravenette's head lifted, meeting yoongi's steady gaze. "h-how?" his voice was hardly more than a whisper.

yoongi's face softened. "i'm only telling you this to give you peace of mind, okay?" the younger nodded, and yoongi continued, "seokjin hyung is staying with hoseok and i. he's been sleeping on our couch. if it means anything, he's not doing much better than you."

jeongguk felt a mix of emotions. on one hand, he was glad seokjin was safe, he was with friends, not out on the streets or in some dingy motel. on the other hand, he was angry with seokjin for being too much of a coward to come home and face jeongguk.

"thank you..." was all he said to yoongi before crushing him in a tight hug, eyes clenched shut to stop the waterfall. in the middle of their embrace, the doors opened and they both awkwardly stepped apart. walking out of the lobby doors together, yoongi silently waved as he went the other way.

jeongguk set off down the street, plugging in his headphones and hitting shuffle on his playlist. as his music drowned out the noise of the world around him, he was drowning in his thoughts and feelings.

➴

"jeongguk?"

the ravenette lifted his head, seeing taehyung leaning over him, concern all over his face. in his hand was a cup of coffee, which he set in front of the younger before sitting down across from him. "you look like shit."

jeongguk scoffed, grabbing the cup and taking a long sip. "thanks. i feel like shit too."

taehyung's lips twisted. "you know i-"

jeongguk waved a hand, "yeah, yeah. i know. relax, hyung. it's true, anyway." he sighed, resting his chin in the palm of his hand as he looked out the window of the coffee shop. "i just haven't had the energy to do anything but sleep and cry. i think i'm on day four of dry shampoo."

taehyung made a face. "guk, i don't think you're supposed to use it every day..." he trailed off, reaching across the table and grasping the younger's hand. "really though, you should come stay with jimin and i, we can take care of you. you're just gonna waste away in that apartment."

"no, i already told you. i don't... i don't think i can handle leaving. even if the place reminds me too much of him, it's all i have of him right now." jeongguk bit his lip. "i can't let that go." his head lowered, and he shut his eyes, willing the tears away.

"so do you know where he is?" taehyung asked, rubbing circles on the younger's hand soothingly.

jeongguk nodded. "yoongi hyung told me he's with them. in a way, it's a relief, having him in the same building, at least. he's close."

"but not close enough."

there was a moment of silence between them, before jeongguk cleared his throat. "so, um, isn't yours and jimin's anniversary coming up? what is it now, a year and two months?"

"three," taehyung smiled. "you should know that, you're only a week or so after us."

jeongguk hummed, sipping his coffee. he tried not to think about how all this was happening when their anniversary was right around the corner. will we even still be together by then? he couldn't help but think, doubt slipping into his mind like an old friend.

"you planning anything?"

"of course. i can't tell you though, can't risk you letting it slip to jiminie." taehyung grinned cheekily.

jeongguk groaned. "that was one time!"

for their one year anniversary, taehyung had enlisted jeongguk's help to make it truly special. they drove back to busan, where taehyung made a deal to rent out jimin's old dance studio for a night. jeongguk had helped decorate the room with twinkling lights, set up a romantic playlist, and of course, food. he was also in charge of driving back to seoul, picking up jimin, and driving him back to busan under the pretense that jeongguk wanted to have a 'busan boys' day out. however, jeongguk had accidentally mentioned that taehyung would be in busan, and jimin had eventually put together the pieces that the two younger's had planned something for the anniversary. jimin had still been surprised at the actual date, crying endlessly at the sentimentality of the venue, while taehyung had cursed out jeongguk for not keeping his mouth shut.

"it's not like i told him everything," jeongguk had reasoned.

taehyung was still livid. "so? i specifically told you! don't let anything slip!"

jimin had calmed himself down at this point enough to rest a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder, eyes still glistening. "taehyungie, i don't care that guk slipped up. you still surprised me more than i could ever imagine. this is the best anniversary ever, thank you," he had said and leaned up to press a kiss to taehyung's lips. "i love you, you dork. now dance with me."

"whatever," taehyung grumbled, "i'm still not telling you this time, or ever again."