Wow. What it's been nearly six years now? Madness. Why do I love you so much? I hate it.
I remember when we first met; then first day of high school started and it was time to see each other for the first time - we were so excited to see each other.
The name popped up on the register in Art. We frantically looked around the room; it turned out we were sat together. Crazy how we didn't recognise each other, right?
We clicked and we didn't. Endless rumours would circulate about how we were dating - it pissed us off. We blanked each other out of our lives. Days, weeks, months, and a year went by. Enough was enough. We made a terrible public friendship reunion… a melted chocolate fight in class that turned into a passionate kiss in front of everyone. Awkward. Boy did we get into a load of shit - I still think being suspended was a little harsh but hey publicity baby!
We came best of friends. Trusted each other with everything. You had a girlfriend. Yet I still loved you. I supported you, until you realised my true feelings. I expected it to go ugly but it wasn't. Tell me one thing, why did it take so long to ask the question? You told me you loved me. It has a strong definition. You meant it. Neither of us cared about the world we were blind in love. Our relationship was like no ordinary couple. It wasn't one you could look up to in movies or celebrities. It was unique… unique like us. You would always call me your 'immature girl' because how crazy I was - live life for the moment right?
People always said you weren’t worth it or you should be 'checking out' someone in your league. Was it because you were captain of the football team, and I was just standing on my own two feet? I think that’s it - people couldn’t accept it. Did we care? Fuck no!
Sluts entered our school. You changed. You wouldn't hear me out. That was us over.
Back together. Why was I so foolish? It's your eyes, right? You know how weak I get when you smile and wink… makes me believe unicorns exist. We were very close from then on until this point.
All of a sudden you've become a different person. Your being somebody you’re not. I've tried everything I could do. Battled to the last strand. I just can't do it anymore. I chose to walk away from you. But I still love you. I can't get those humorous jokes out of my mind. It's hard to look at you each day in class knowing you’re not mine. You know what's worse? I can't talk to anyone about this. Not even my friends. Our status is complicated. Girls flaunt themselves at you, I stay in the background, yet I still see your eyes divert to me, and then we're having an eye conversation. You love me, I love you. What couldn't it be easy as 1+1?
We may not be together right now, I may be avoiding you, but believe me I don't want to – it’s just the best thing to do. I don't regret anything with you; the detentions, the class fights, the teasing, the flirting… the connection we shared. Looking back we had a great roller coaster, right baby? Love sure is a roller coaster.
One thing - we've never put a name to a relationship… friends with benefits. Why? You love me, I love you. Everybody knows and we can't hide it no matter how hard we try.
Just remember, I'll always love you.
