Fighting Against Lilac Love (FALL)

chapter twelve- Im Not Your Friend

Baby Im sorry...not sorry- demi lovato

Christelle's POV

I stared at him for what seemed like forever. His gaze unwavering. "What cuts?" I asked lamely. Nice, Chris. Act stupid. Will definitely get you out of problems in life, the sarcastic voice hissed. I shut the bitch up with an invisible punch.

He glared at me, "Cut the crap. How long?" He asked, voice different kinds of low. My anger spiked, temper kicking into fourth gear.

"I dont need to answer to any one. Not even you." I snapped indignantly, sitting up way too quickly. I groaned, light headedness crushing down on me in a rush. I collapsed on the pillow again. Weak, hopeless and completely vulnerable. Exposed to the person that nearly killed me. Not his fault though, he didnt know, the snarky voice chimed. I narrowed my eyes. Why, oh why, subconcious. Cant you leave me the hell alone??

"Christelle!! Fuck, are you even listening to me?" Seans irritated voice hissed. I turned my head to him, sending a withering look his way. "I rather not." I insisted. I couldnt answer to him. He was the reason I was cutting. He was the reason why I was so miserbale, pathetic and weak. Not again.

"Listen Sean. Maybe you seem to demand answers thats none of your fucking business. Maybe you may be my brothers best friend. But Im not yours. Maybe in the past. There is a lot of maybe's, why not replace it with apparently? Anyways, please stay out of my business and I will stay out of yours. Thats all Im asking." I said, calmly. Not shouting, screaming, hissing or snapping. I said it with devoid of emotion.

He broke his gaze on me, the light in his eyes dimming, darkening. "If you feel like that, bell- oh Im sorry, I mean Christelle, than so be it." He looked back at me, his eyes blank...a blank canvas. No painting...no expression whatsoever. I shivered. I didnt like that one bit...

He studied me, calculating and cold. Eyes dark, but for some reason, unfathomable. He shrugged, getting up from his chair. "I'll tell your bro you here. He'll come pick you up. But for now, I'll make you something hot...like chicken noodles or something. I cant cook to save my life." He muttered to himself distantly, distractedly.

"I dont want, thank you," I refused. He narrowed his eyes at me, "Im so sorry, but you need it. It will make you feel better. I'll be right up with it." Before I can protest further he was out the door, his thumping footsteps echoing downstairs.

I sighed in frustration. How the hell am I going to deal with this...I looked down at the huge hoodie on my body. It smelt like him. His sweat pants too baggy on me. I hated this because I loved it. Too much for my own good.

Thumping footsteps broke my unpleasant thoughts. I turned to see Sean. With pink oven mittens and his hair tied back. Yes hes hair was really long.

I eyed him in amusement, trying to hard not to laugh. He carried a steaming bowl, constantly blowing at it. His eyes down, focused solely on cooling the food down. His eyelashes fanned his cheeks, high cheek bones and sculpted chin. My amusement turned to darkness. He made my world fall, he made it dark when it used to shine its brightest.

He lifted his soft gaze to me than frowned. "Are you okay?" he asked in concern. No. "Yes," I lied. He looked unconvinced, but still sat next to me. His body heat way too close. "Sit up, " he ordered. I raised a brow in challenge but obeyed, struggling weakly to shift upwards. He set the bowl of noodle soup down the side table, pulling a big pillow from the side and leaning over to tuck it behind me, which meant I came a bit forward from the cushy pillow.

His face was dangerously close. Breath blowing against parted lips. I raised my eyes into his scorching gaze. His hands still behind me on the pillow. Head inclined in my direction. I breathed out sharply as his mouth opened a tiny bit, his gaze lowering to my lips. I bit it unconciously, his eyes zooming in and darkening further.

My heart, my disobedient stubborn heart, went wild.

He lifted his hand slowly, eyes returning to mines. Tucking a strand behind my ear, he smiled sadly and leaned away.

I breathed a sigh of relief, my shoulders sagging. I couldnt afford this. I must be careful. Dumb girl. "Im going to feed you, and I dont want any complaints from you...understand?" he asked sternly. I rolled my eyes, but nodded. He smiled gently. "Good."

He picked up the bowl of steaming noodles, he swirled some on the fork and blew the hotness off. I watched him like a hawk, caution and tension surrounding me like a boundary. He placed the fork with noodles near my mouth and I opened it slowly.

Hes eyes slid to mines as I took the warm goodness in my mouth. Hmm...I loved noodles. I chewed slowly, savouring the chicken taste. Swallowing it was hard though... Hurt like a bitch with my throat that felt like I shoved a grater down.

He hummed in appreciation. "I'm surprised you didn't end up burning the microwave down." I murmured after a bite. He glanced up at me with a smirk, "You'd love that ,wouldn't you?" He said just as softly. I shrugged, "It would be funny watching a bad boy run around the kitchen like a headless chicken...loosing his cool for once." I said, taking another bite. He chuckled quietly. But said nothing.

"How do you ever cook for yourself?" I asked, realising that he's parents are off on a business trip with my parents. He stared at the bowl in his hands, absentmindedly twirling the noodles with the fork. "I order take outs....noodles... Anything micro wavable and doesn't involve cooking." He managed out.

I studied him carefully, "You don't like it?" I asked softly. He shrugged bringing the fork of noodles to my mouth. I took it.

He frowned to himself, playing with the fork. "I can use some home cooked meal, but I can't cook...that's the problem." He says, raising his eyes to mine.

I rolled my eyes, "You used to come home and finish anything in the fridge what happened? I could even cook if you wanted...but you just suddenly stopped." I muttering darkly.

He's gaze dropped again, shrugging he says,"Some times its more complicated than it seems." He looked up again, grey eyes full of intent. I squirmed at the directness of his voice.

He rose suddenly, startling me. Looking down he gave a forced smile, "All done. Now get some sleep. I'll wake you up when your brother comes." He says, turning and walking away. I watched his retreating back and whispered, "Thank you."

He turned, his eye brows raising in question. I cleared my throat, looking away, "Thank you." I say a little louder. His signature smirk formed on his face. "You welcome, Bella," he says silkily.

I rolled my eyes. He will never listen.

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Hiiiiiiiiiii people, I know this chapter seems extra extra long but its soo worth it. I hoped yourl having a fab day...or night...depends :}

Carry on reading and see what happens....I swear you won't expect it.

Love,
Ab kitty